My boyfriend cheated...should I forgive him? Looking for an update from "hearbroken" from 17 yrs ago.

oh god don't be gay...he just kissed a girl..it be one thing if he had sex..grow up...as long as its not happening all the time who gives a flying f..k!! Just be glad he told you that shows honesty at the very least.....

Give him a break a kiss is not like sex.

A kiss? You really are getting that twisted up about a drunken kiss? You'd be hard pressed to find someone who would even consider that "cheating" in this world and time.

If you have that much fun and enjoy each other that much, throwing it away over such an indiscretion would be foolish. How drunk was he?

Okay, you say you can't see anything but him kissing another girl. Are you the first person that he has ever kissed? I'm sure that he's kissed people before...have you ever pictured any of those people before? I realize that this is during your relationship, but if he's apologetic then that should mean something.

Of course this is easy to say from the "outside" as it always is. If this happened to me then I'm sure I'd be quite distraught too. Just think logically about this...is he someone that you love enough to forgive and forget?

Did he tell you because he had to (i.e. so somebody who saw wouldn't tell you first) or because he just wanted to be honest? If it was the later, I'd try and work through it. Although coming clean about it doesn't make it ok, at least it shows he cares about you. It would have been a lot easier to just not tell you. It was probably just a one off incident due to drink, and if you tell him how hurt you feel, I doubt he'll do it again.

Same exact thing happened to me, except my girlfriend ended up spending the night with the guy at the party. I do know that they only kissed. I wouldnt say Ive completely forgiven her but she said that she will wait as long as it takes to earn my trust back, and she is doing a pretty good job of it. Anyway, the point is that our relationship is better than its ever been, so give the dude another chance. And this is coming from someone who definetly sees these things the same way, and Im a very very jealous person. It's worth it!

when he's doing farm animals, get worried. A drunken kiss, and he fesses up? Not a huge deal. Don't take him to Hedonism though.

Go get drunk and kiss a woman, that will teach him.

Or better yet, invite him to a threesome with another girl and pay more attention to her. That'll show him.

Couple of things for you.

1) You two aren't married, and until you are there isn't a real committment, so this "cheating" isn't a big deal.

2) He should NOT have told you about a kiss. I'm actually more concerned about that. To me this leaves the possibility open that he WANTS you to be pissed and he WANTS a way out of the relationship. Perhaps, as you say, he does want to continue the relationship with you, wel then, I would still question his telling you about this kiss. How is hurting you a good thing? If he really felt badly about it, he should have eaten it and decided to never do it again. By telling you, he could be hoping for you to tell him that it's OK. By telling you, he's only doing it to try to make himself feel better. I know that perhaps he's feeling that he just needs to be honest, but sometimes honesty is over rated. It is here.

3) Finally, I'll echo what some others have said - he KISSED someone else. Big deal. If you can't get over that, then you aren't mature enough to be in a serious relationship anyway.

4) Of course you give him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance for something like this. A third chance though? No.

Am I the only one here who thinks that this guy is maybe not being completely honest? If he confessed that he kissed her maybe that's all that happened, maybe it's not. Let's face it -- us guys aren't exactly know for our honesty. I don't know for sure if I would break up with him, but I would sure give it some SERIOUS thought. Plus, who's to say he's not going to do it again, or if he gets away with it this time, go farther next time. I realize a lot of guys are posting here who want this jerk to be forgiven without a second thought, but I wouldn't.

People make mistakes. Young people make more mistakes. You can assume the best or the worst about the situation. plenty of people have had problems that have worked out. forgive him this time but let him know it really hurt you.

You should forgive him. It was just a kiss and it's not like you're married or anything. I would be wary if he didn't fess up to you and you found out accidentally - there could have been more that went on. Give him enough space so that he feels comfortable discussing stuff like this with you, even if you feel uncomfortable. A relationship where a guy can express his desires and fantacies with you will never go wrong. (female speaking here)

Give him a 2nd chance, but not a 3rd.

I echo others sentiments that people often cheat because they want a way out of their current relationship. For some reason, cheating is a more convenient way of ending it than simply telling your significant other its time to move on.

Oh, also, the lastest study shows that 59% of married MEN cheat on their wives, and 53% of married WOMEN cheat.

The reasons are different though.

Men do it for the sex.

Women do it for emotional intimacy.

One of the big problems is that women think their man cheated because of something "emotional" missing in their relationship. Not true. He did it for the sex.

I would say that guy probably just slipped up. Maybe you to have different thoughts of where you guys are at and where you are going as well. Not that it matters that much, but if you are thinking so much farther down the road than him, that could have caused you to be more hurt. It is not uncommon that people date and are happy but the other has so much more emotions involved. It is not bad to be more emotionally envolved in a situation than your partner, just let them know that. It may scare the other but at least they will know. I would say give this person another chance. If you really do trust him than let him back in. People do make mistakes every day. The gift of forgiveness is probably one of the greatest gifts ever. Some people you can just tell are slime and sneaky and others you can tell are really good hearted. Forgiveness to one of the sneaky, slimey guys is foolish. Forgiveness to the good hearted person can make things stronger and enrichen a relationship. There will be mistakes made by both people in a relationship that will be hard to get over but if you keep breaking up with people for their mistakes you will be a bitter and shelled up person. I wish you the best in your situation.

Flagpole, shut the hell up. Stop generalizing everything.

Will Lang wrote:

Flagpole, shut the hell up. Stop generalizing everything.

How did I generalize anything? I gave her advice based specifically on what he did.

from all the recent posts on this website that start with - What should I do? What should I have done or said?

I've come to the conclusion that most people men/women - spawn overanalysis. We interpret everything...give it extra meaning. An interlude(one interaction) some words...used to diagnose a/the relationship. This can't be healthy?