Going to Europe: what are the rules concerning Speedos on the beach?

Optional?

what are speedos?

if you are a fat man covered eyebrows to toes in disgusting body hair (including ron jeremy mustache, head hair is optional) and like to wear gaudy gold chains then a too tight black banana hammock is a requirement for admission to a european beach.

I tried but it was like trying to get two bowling balls in a marble sack.

astonishingly, they are obligatory at French indoor pools and, according to this article, at some outdoor places as well. the reason: hygiene. you cannot wear them outside of swimming areas and so they don't bring in dirt, etc., supposedly.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/aug/12/speedos-fashion

I was worried about being on the beach in a speedo so a friend tols me to get a baking sized potato and shove it down there. I did this but had to endure finger pointing and laughter all at my expense.

I asked my friend why this happened and it was then that he told me that the potato goes in front of the speedo.

Agent/Meet Director wrote:

I was worried about being on the beach in a speedo so a friend tols me to get a baking sized potato and shove it down there. I did this but had to endure finger pointing and laughter all at my expense.

I asked my friend why this happened and it was then that he told me that the potato goes in front of the speedo.

Outstanding. I can get back to work now.

Agent/Meet Director wrote:

I was worried about being on the beach in a speedo so a friend tols me to get a baking sized potato and shove it down there. I did this but had to endure finger pointing and laughter all at my expense.

I asked my friend why this happened and it was then that he told me that the potato goes in front of the speedo.

Awesome. Abosfreakinlutely awesome.

What's so astonishing about that? It's perfectly reasonable. People shouldn't be wearing boardshorts indoors.

The author is wrong about what you can wear at pools.

In fact, you can swim in jammers at pools in France. You can also swim in a boxer brief type cut. The point is that these are not loose like boardshorts.

This is right. Most guys wear boardshorts on the beaches these days and the "mini-shorts" style at the smallest.

I would suggest speedo type with a drag suit over it.

This is what swimmers train in at the pool, and it wouldn't look too bad at the beach if you have a good body. Wearing the drag suit over the speedo makes things less revealing if you're worried about your modesty.

Please, some of us are trying to eat here.

If you have small junk you might not like it. But I don't understand why women, on the beach no less, would possibly have a preference for having less information about men's bodies. Can anyone, male or female, explain that to me.

Scabby Rat You Roman Son,

Never been a small package problem here, but I can tell by some angry posters here that they might have that problem.

Agent/Meet Director wrote:

I was worried about being on the beach in a speedo so a friend tols me to get a baking sized potato and shove it down there. I did this but had to endure finger pointing and laughter all at my expense.

I asked my friend why this happened and it was then that he told me that the potato goes in front of the speedo.

HAHAHAHA That was f-ing awesome!

I didn't Michelle gawking while she was overseas last week. That wasn't you was it?

ronjeremyisaman wrote:

Obligatory?

California baggies, or board shorts are the norm now...due to "fashion."

You can still wear a speedo. And on some areas/beaches, you can wear nothing.

The Stache wrote:

Agent/Meet Director wrote:

I was worried about being on the beach in a speedo so a friend tols me to get a baking sized potato and shove it down there. I did this but had to endure finger pointing and laughter all at my expense.

I asked my friend why this happened and it was then that he told me that the potato goes in front of the speedo.

HAHAHAHA That was f-ing awesome!

Should I shave??