I am going to sue the ASICS shoe company.
Yesterday, completely without warning, my 2130 shoes suddenly and unstoppably accelerated. It was the most terrifying 12 minutes of my life. I pressed down hard with both feet but I could not stop the incredible surge of sprinting. I frantically called 911 to ask for help and they told me - get this - "untie the shoes and they will fall off". Try that while running sub-4 pace with a phone in one hand and a sack of dog poo in the other hand. My poor greyhound Rufus was so scared that he was running for his life just to stay in front of my out-of-control feet. My horrified family had to watch from our front yard as I went around the 1 mile loop in our neighborhood 3 times! (In an unoffical 11:59). I careened from 1 side of the street to the other, hopping over fire hydrants, knocking over old ladies with walkers and generally shrieking with terror in a high-pitched voice. The horror did not end until Rufus wrapped his leash around Mrs Pulaski's legs and I flew through the air and put my head through the "foreclosure sale" sign in Bill Johnson's front yard. I want to know how many others out there have suffered similar unintended acceleration - I cannot be the only one! These irresponsible shoe companies must be brought to justice!