At what age were your parents when you started to notice them really slowing down?

Pics of your mom

late 70s. got even worse at age 80

father had been pretty low energy and senile for awhile, but things got worse.

lots of naps. sundowning. slips while going up and down stairs. inability to remember basic words.

basically became sort of a liability to have in "in front" of people, so my brothers and sisters basically protected my Dad and made sure he wasn't in any situations where things would go south.

Yeah... That's something else I noticed. My dad has always been kind of obnoxious when going out, but this time it was fairly bad. He would try to crack some stupid joke very loudly to the server every single time they walked by and would try to have a conversation with them sometimes when they were just trying to take our order... I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do there. I think he would just get upset if I told him to just order and be quiet when it comes to interacting with the server. Not sure what to do.

My mom is 72. Her memory is slipping but she’s still clever and witty. I don’t live near her so i cant give an age/date. It’s fairly well established that people who remain active and have good social connections delay any onset aging issues.

What is the running history of your parents? Running is supposed to slow age-related declines in just about everything.

The choppy gait sounds like it could be Parkinson's disease. It can affect behavior too - see if you can get him to see a neurologist.

Also sounds like it could be onset of dementia. My parents are both in their early 70's and have definitely gotten a little crabby but they are not paranoid or struggling to pack for trips or anything like that, it's seems more like a reaction to being isolate for long periods during covid. Yours sound more like actual symptoms of a problem.

Do we have the same father? I can't take him out anywhere because he's obnoxious with staff. We went to a brewery and he sat there and complained to the brewer's face about how mediocre the beer way (which was true...but he never would have done that even a few years before). We all have those thoughts, but don't voice them. It's like that filter has been removed. And he won't let something go. Just keeps picking, and picking at the person he's directing the comments at. Again, never would have done that a few years ago. Called out on his behavior, he doubles down and becomes even more inappropriate.

I really started to notice this in my dad's early 70s (he's 75 now). My mom is also early 70s and seems ok. My sister's husband had a big falling out with my dad over this behavior (for good reason). I simply won't go out with him anymore.

FWIW, he was a lifetime cyclist. Racing in the 70s/80s/90s on the road and mountain bike. He no longer rides and the change in behavior started around when he stopped riding. Hard to tell how these two things are connected, but I'm sure he'd be better off even riding an indoor trainer.

My old man really started slowing down in his mid 60s (like going from <1:45 half to a 1:55 half) though he wasn't very fast compared to his peak at 40s (~1:30)...oh wait, I suppose you mean mentally?

They got more conservative and risk adverse in their later 60s and 70s, more so with covid and the state of the world. But 100% of their faculties.

Both my parents turned 80 this year. Watching them slow down is tough.

Physically my mom was probably in her mid 60s, my dad really not until the last 5 years. My mom actually gets around better now because she had both her knees replaced late 60s. My dad needs a knee replacement but won't get one just due to his age and realizing he might not come make it out alive. He has the old man walk.

He was an athlete growing up, playing football (8 man!), running track, playing baseball and I think what frustrates him physically is that he still thinks he can move around like he did in his prime. Ha.

What gets the both of them is that sometimes they know what they want to say but it's like the brain just isn't processing it fast enough so they can't get it out and this frustrates them...more so my dad.

Neither of them really drive at night anymore. My dad might drive 10 miles a week. He has diabetes that is pretty under control. High blood pressure.

I've been pretty d*mn fortunate and can only hope to have as good as health as I get older.

Nominally you should expect a severe drop in physical capabilities at 50ish and at 70ish. I'm not sure about mental abilities. My mom just turned 70 and my dad turns 70 in February. I've noticed they can't keep up with their grandkids as well as they did last year (although the kids get more active each year it seems).

Mentally they are both still there.

My parents both lived to age 93 and both still had all their marbles mentally until the end. Neither one was at all athletic, but both seemed to keep most of their physical abilities relevant to daily life until well into their 70s.

Mom slowed way down at 63, Dad at 72. We had to go through a lot just to get them to the funerals.

My parents are 72 and 68 and they play pickleball for about 4 hours a day. They really haven't slowed down too much. My Dad sometimes messes up some mental calculations, but that's about it and it's not all the time.

Dad is 85 and mom is 83. Both are still in very good shape cognitively speaking. My dad can still knock out the NY Times crossword puzzle in short order and has been volunteering to mentor young entrepreneurs at a local university. He made going to the gym and doing strength training part of his daily regimen when he retired in his mid 60s. He is no athlete, but gets around as well as anyone his age can. My mom reads a lot and takes lots of walks with her little fluff ball dog. She had to move into an assisted living home because my step father has Parkinson's and can't handle stairs well anymore and will need progressively more supportive care over the years. But she can still get around well and drive, cook, clean, etc.

At times, they do seem to get a bit confused and seem to take longer to understand some things. But I also have noticed that many times the lag is due to a generational gap and the fact that my parents have been retired and out of public live for 20+ years (and were never very with it to begin with). So, my father still doesn't get it that getting drip coffee has become an exception and espresso is now the norm at restaurants and coffee shops. He will ask for a coffee and then forget that an Americano is the espresso equivalent. He is then puzzled when he gets a latte and realizes that he got a milk based drink. Both parents have never been able to navigate the internet or smart phones well and constantly need help from their children or grandchildren.

So, I do not think that they have necessarily slowed down as much as I think that they reached a point where they just refused to keep up. I find myself in my 50s starting to do the same thing. Everyone in my office who is in their 20s to 40s is going nuts about ChatGPT and AI. I went on ChatGPT once and gave up after about 3 minutes. I have had no inclination to go near it since then. I am sure the 20something version of me would spend all weekend playing with ChatGPT.

If there were any lessons to be learned, it would be keeping up with physical activity, being open to new experiences and learning new things and making sure you are engaged with some sort of reading, writing, etc. as you age.

My parents were always active. my dad passed when he was 74 but was still in Masters swimming competitions up until a couple months before he died and did track and field events (even pole vault) in the same year. So physically, they were fine but probably ~70 for both I noticed them just seemed "old" to me. Probably more so conversation aspect but also although active you could tell their bodies were starting to slow down.

Not normal for late 60s early 70s or even 80s.

Might be they both have at least one copy of apoe4 version of apoe, variant associated with Alzheimer's .

Get them sequenced along with yourself.

There are many lifestyle adjustments that can reduce the risk for a person with a copy of apoe4.

My dad is 74. He began a significant decline mentally and physically in his late 60s. He was a heavy smoker from the age of 20 and diagnosed with COPD in his 60s. He is on oxygen and not very active. He is moody, rude, and combative with everyone. Therefore, no one wants to be around him.

My Father is 79. He was always very athletic all his life, and kept reasonably active (weight lifting, running 8 min mile pace for 4-5mi) until he was about 74. This year was when I started to notice cognitive "spaciness," and further physical decline (not keeping up when walking, sleeping a lot, not recovering so he could not lift). My Mother is 75, and she is pretty connected cognitively with minor memory issues. She no longer runs due to recovery issues, but is able to be somewhat active (walking, gardening, works part time) without problem.