I told a girl I was disappointed in her

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1 year ago 02/13/2023 12:47am EST

This happened yesterday morning. It was never my plan to say it but it just came out. It unfortunately shattered her instantly. I saw her friend today who a) saw everything b) knows everything that happened c) understands where I am coming from and d) confirmed her friend had been deeply burned by what I said. I havent spoken to the girl in 36 hours. I can feel her pain all the way across town though, even right now.

Am I supposed to say I am sorry? I dont want her to be hurting. I was actually very disappointed in her. I cared for her and as of right now not sure if it is the same feeling any longer. A happenstance moment where I believe I valued her and apparently more than she values herself. I also think that giving her time and space to reflect is important because I could reintroduce myself at the wrong time and inadvertently make things worse.

We live close by so we will inevitably see each other sooner than later, I give it ~72 hours. I wont be able to just stonewall her and ignoring would be quite rude. But part of me thinks I should distance myself, let her go and move on.

Thanks LRC

1 year ago 02/13/2023 12:51am EST

re: Oh what did i do

I am disappointed in you. I do not want this to shatter you. My disappointment remains.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 12:53am EST

re: Oh what did i do

YouTube.com

Morrissey - Disappointed

Mashmash07

I don't own any copyrights. WMG owns all the rights and licenses.

Video:www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mjKg9SElnU

1 year ago 02/13/2023 4:22am EST

re: Oh what did i do

Disappointment is the fuel of live.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 7:02am EST

re: Oh what did i do

It was supposed to be a mmf. but she totally ignored me when Keshawn showed up.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 7:23am EST

re: Oh what did i do

I think you are vastly overthinking the whole event, and she’ll be fine. She is probably disappointed in you for reading LetsRun.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 7:29am EST

re: Oh what did i do

1 year ago 02/13/2023 9:14am EST

re: Oh what did i do

It sounds like she's trying to shift the focus from whatever she did to make you disappointed in her to how hurt she is by you telling her you're disappointed. Unless you told her she's a disappointment, she's being dramatic or deflecting.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 9:45am EST

re: more info needed

more info needed wrote:
Context please

Yes, context helps. Disappointed in what? Her grades? Her appearance? Her tastes in music? Her inability to understand Augustinian dialogues?

1 year ago 02/13/2023 9:49am EST

re: Oh what did i do

Your post is very vague. This makes me think you deliberately withheld embarrassing information. I deduce that you were put in the friendzone by this girl, allowed your resentment to build over time, and then basically called your "friend" a slut and said you were disappointed when you learned that she had a one night stand.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 10:01am EST

re: Oh what did i do

Did you also ask her what her marathon time was?

1 year ago 02/13/2023 10:07am EST

re: Oh what did i do

Did you tell her you were disappointed in her for a good reason - e.g. she drove home drunk after a party even though she's already gotten two DUIs in the past - or for a stupid reason - e.g. she bought namebrand cereal instead of storebrand? The fact that you didn't say what she did suggests that you know it's in the latter category.

Either way, the ball is in her court. Let her decide what to do next.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 10:12am EST

re: Sherlock Homezzz

Sherlock Homezzz wrote:
Your post is very vague. This makes me think you deliberately withheld embarrassing information. I deduce that you were put in the friendzone by this girl, allowed your resentment to build over time, and then basically called your "friend" a slut and said you were disappointed when you learned that she had a one night stand.

I kind of think she was looking for a reason to dump you.

Do yourself a big favor and MOVE ON!

1 year ago 02/13/2023 10:58am EST

re: more info needed

First you insult a coworker by asking her marathon time and now this.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 11:57am EST

re: Oh what did i do

Oh what did i do wrote:
This happened yesterday morning. It was never my plan to say it but it just came out. It unfortunately shattered her instantly. I saw her friend today who a) saw everything b) knows everything that happened c) understands where I am coming from and d) confirmed her friend had been deeply burned by what I said. I havent spoken to the girl in 36 hours. I can feel her pain all the way across town though, even right now.
Am I supposed to say I am sorry? I dont want her to be hurting. I was actually very disappointed in her. I cared for her and as of right now not sure if it is the same feeling any longer. A happenstance moment where I believe I valued her and apparently more than she values herself. I also think that giving her time and space to reflect is important because I could reintroduce myself at the wrong time and inadvertently make things worse.
We live close by so we will inevitably see each other sooner than later, I give it ~72 hours. I wont be able to just stonewall her and ignoring would be quite rude. But part of me thinks I should distance myself, let her go and move on.
Thanks LRC

No you didn't. Any human with real knowledge of girls, or humans in general, would realize that outside of a parent or very close parent figure being told you are a disappointment to someone isn't going to cause this kind of reaction.

When you get out of middle school and learn how the world works you will know this.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 6:02pm EST

re: Daily Koan

Daily Koan wrote:
Disappointment is the fuel of live.

I am disappointed in your sentence.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 6:41pm EST

re: Unfulfilled expecatations

Unfulfilled expecatations wrote:
Daily Koan wrote:
Disappointment is the fuel of live.
I am disappointed in your sentence.

You’re

1 year ago 02/13/2023 6:47pm EST

re: Letsrun grammarian

Letsrun grammarian wrote:
moose tits & oven mitts wrote:
I am disappointed in your sentence.
You’re

Yore.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 6:52pm EST

re: Oh what did i do

If a girl feels bad that you made this comment, it actually means she's probably a good woman who made a mistake. The bad ones will feel no guilt or shame either because they're a sociopath/psychopath or they're constantly messing up.

1 year ago 02/13/2023 6:53pm EST

re: Sherlock Homezzz

Sherlock Homezzz wrote:
Your post is very vague. This makes me think you deliberately withheld embarrassing information. I deduce that you were put in the friendzone by this girl, allowed your resentment to build over time, and then basically called your "friend" a slut and said you were disappointed when you learned that she had a one night stand.

I approve and am not disappointed in this statement. I have spoken.

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