Getting Angry More Often, and It's Affecting My Kids

you sound like an a**hole and it's awesome

Covid really made it worse. You need to identify the stressors and find an outlet for them that doesn't involve regressed anger towards your kids and those you love. Maybe buy a heavy bag for the basement. Unfortunately, the economic situation is liable to get worse before it gets better, so just be conservative with your spending. Alcohol has never improved someone's situation, so I wouldn't turn to that.

i was genuinely a nice guy. never got in fights, never yelled, no arguments, usually would diffuse tense situations.

Its a new thing for me honestly.

I can relate although I've managed to be less set off lately. At one point in my life when I was in my 20s I was very patient and I did not get angry much at all. Then at one point I was a short fuse everyday. This puzzled me because I didn't feel like the same person I thought I was. Not sure exactly what changed but perhaps I became depressed or relevant mental health condition. I had a lot going for me but I believe there became other stressors in my life that attributed to my short temper and getting angry more easily. I'd be more confrontational at random times with people and immediately got angry at little things which didn't really bother me before. What helped me was accepting what I couldn't change and trying to become a better person everyday for myself and others--not that I was a bad person but I just sought improvement. Having hope, setting goals, showing compassion towards others are important in that pursuit.

thank you. in my 20s I was very patient and "in control". Back then I was an military officer, deployed to Iraq etc. Despite the extremely high stress environment I was cool calm and collected (and was noted by leadership for this as a strong trait of mine).

now, in my current state, put me back in the service and I'd probably pull a General Patton first day back and slap a soldier in a hospital or something.

It seemingly has come out of nowhere.

Not a Dad, but when I was around 8 years old, my 10 year old brother and I were rough housing and we bashed into the shelving where my Dad kept his hi-fi equipment and knocked his amplifier down to the floor. He then proceeded to go to my brother's room, grab this guitar my brother had and smashed it to pieces in front of us. Luckily, he had cooled off enough by the time he got to my room to find something to break or realized how he had taken things too far and stopped his little lesson on never touching any of this stuff ever again.

My brother and I turned out okay though. I laugh about this story now. At 8 years old, I was absolutely petrified.

Realize money isn’t everything. Just because you make money and put a roof over your families head doesn’t make you a good dad. Focus on bonding with your kids and sharing experiences with them rather than being absent making money. I grew up with an always working dad and sure new video games and presents were always nice I wish I actually got to interact with my dad I hardly know the guy.
Hopefully this helps, otherwise start looking for a new job, you and your families health isn’t worth the extra money

I've been there. Young kids at home, stressful job, wife with a stressful job. For me the kids were very young during the middle of the financial crisis and I was downsized at the very peak. I did lose my temper more when the kids were young.

You have to accept that your life is just in a stressful period. Don't focus on things you can't control, like the price of stuff. It sounds like you have a good marriage and that is the most important thing. Talk to your wife about what your are feeling. Don't try and carry everything yourself. Keeping communication open is more important than ever and you need to feel like your are in it together.

Remember, this phase will pass. It got easier for me as the kids got older and didn't require constant attention.

Probably not cool to give the Jesus talk on this website but I dont care. I can tell you that if you are truly seeking truth in your life, find a church that teaches directly from the Bible, expository, not topical sermons. They usually have a lot of resources such as counseling, community groups etc... that can help you reflect with accountability. I have found that those that attend are genuine and do care. They arent the kind that just show up on Sunday occasionally. It has helped me tremendously in my relationsbip with God and my family while being in the word and around others for support. Many people dont know what the word "church" means anymore but if you can find one like the one I attend, it can make a huge difference in your life. I had to be open minded and willing to admit I needed help and that I am not in control. It's not a fast or easy process but there is definitely a lot to be learned and practiced. I am a sinner but I have a better understanding of the life Christ taught others to live.

Warm up for at least 20 minutes, then go out and run 200 to 400 meter reps on pure spite. You'll feel better afterwards.

Looks like you need to run a few 800m races to dissipate all the pent up hate.

I am not sure how old your youngest is but I went through something similar at the very start of Covid when we had a new baby. Really short fuse and agitated. Thankfully it either sort of ran its course, as the kids got older it got easier again, or back to normal job life helped too.

One blessing of my job is that I travel at least a couple of weekends a month and can get away a bit. It helped a ton to be able to escape even for a night.

I don't know man, I think seeing someone is probably a good idea. If you question what you'll do in a situation (such as potential hurt a family member) you need to figure it out. Get away a bit if you are able. Supporting a family is tough and stressful if you think about it all of the time. Life is a big game so hopefully you can enjoy it and try to win each day as much as you can.

Get professional help and stay the f away from this site. So much anger and hatred here - i almost always leave more upset after reading a few threads. the real world is not as a bad as people here make it out to be

Funny - that used to happen to me a long time ago but now I just laugh because it's largely irrelevant and a lot of it is ill-informed.

To angrydad I'd try doing more high intensity workouts, sprints, boxing, anything intense to get energy out, long distance running doesn't quite cut it in that regard.

It's interesting you've been under severe stress before and been fine though.

To me this sounds more like something linked to depression possibly.

I'd stay away from alcohol, it will simply make you feel worse and you're liable to actually act on your impulses instead of wanting to smash someone in. This time of year is not easy. Scale down holiday plans. Try to reduce stress. Make sure you get outside. IDK, plan for a race or something to keep you distracted. I hope it gets better for you. At least you acknowledge what's going on, unlike some people.

I went through a similar patch and managed to significantly reduce it almost immediately by closing my social media accounts. I hadn't realised the huge negative stress impacts of twitter in particular, reading an endless stream of negativity was ramping up my general stress on top of everything else that was going on. I also found I had much more patience with kids when they weren't competing for my attention against my phone. Might be irrelevant for you but hopefully it helps someone.

I think your self awareness of the issue is a great start. It's also safe to say that the great things about your life will become less great should your feelings continue.

You have some options, but I don't think medication is the solution. Seeking professional help could really help you. Don't see it as weakness. Some therapists can guide you with very helpful strategies to reduce stress in your life. That has a lot of value.

Sure you could change jobs too. Maybe it would result in a pay cut for now, maybe not.

Always working high stress jobs probably isn't good for your health and maybe that's Starting to rear it's ugly head. But the fact that you said you thrived off it before is interesting. It is possible you're changing a bit and what worked for you before isn't now/compounded by the hard economy (that will get worse for some time). My advice overall is to be flexible. It might be time for a change of some sort. Maybe a morning meditation practice. Some time off your phone. Intentional activities to reduce stress or energy output both at work and at home. Even a few of these things done minimally might be enough. Good luck

Hang in there, man. Couldn't help but think of this from the Simpsons.

simpsons.fandom.com

Angry Dad

Angry Dad is a comic-based internet series created by Bart. It is just Homer when he does something stupid or when he is angry, or as Bart puts it, "A little of my dad, your dad, bit of Maggie's dad." Bart originally made Ang...

Link:simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Angry_Dad

Therapy can help with this kind of thing. So can SSRI's like Prozac. Lastly, some ppl find meditation helps, and it's free.

Once met a guy online who told me something helpful about anger: it can motivate change. Perhaps there is something in your life that you need to change.