what would you do with 2 years to live?

So sorry to hear.

I didn't have the chance to know ahead of time, but I can relate.

Having been thru cancer, with zero expectation of survival, here is what I would do if I were in your shoes - if this is a definite final diagnosis -

I'd quit my job asap. Travel, but at a slow pace. No planes, just by car. I'd drive no more than a few hours at a time, relax in a spot for a few days until rested and ready to go. Not too many busy busy busy activities, just going at an easy pace with plenty of downtime.

Some time at the beach would be nice. Swim in the ocean, stroll on the sand, relax inside and enjoy the view.

State and national parks, but away from bustling crowds. Deserts, forests, mountains, open grassland, whatever there is to see. Visit farms and say hello to animals. Maybe ride a horse if I'm up to it. No pressure, whatever works on a day to day basis.

Farm markets & fresh food. Art exhibits. Cultural sights, as long as it's not stressful or overwhelming for my weary mind & body. Strolls through moonlit meadows. Taste interesting food. Whatever there is to discover, no need for firm plans or structured itinerary.

Stay up late or get up early, if there are any interesting astronomical sights. Not gonna see them again, and I can catch up on sleep at leisure as I am going with the flow on this, my last trip.

Maybe a nice slow easy bike ride in the countryside, if I feel up to it. Or paddle across a lake. A campfire and a tent, maybe. Or a cabin. A swim in a mountain lake. Go fishing. Hike, if it's not too hard for me. Watch the dragonflies dance just before sunset, and the fireflies after.

Plenty of sunrises and sunsets. Outside, with a meal. This I did when I was full of chemo and able. ... maybe forego the beer & bourbon, just go with the beef stew. Or, maybe eff it, go with the beer & bourbon.

Or how about stopping by a luxurious hotel, enjoy the spa and massage, staying a few days. Burn a few dollars, why not.

If home is where the heart is, I'd eventually go there.

No rush. I've got all the time there is.

And yeah, the occasional run, even if it's a jog. Because it might be the last one, before I go to my rest.

F Cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

First, I'd learn all I could about the type of cancer and the state of the art in traditional medicine. Then, I'd pursue it. If a hospital can't offer a type of treatment, they might not even mention it as an option. You have to be proactive in medicine. Example: My MIL was told she had inoperable lung cancer at her hospital in Florida. We called around and found a proton beam therapy at Vanderbilt. She was cured in two outpatient treatments! The lesson here is you MUST be proactive when it comes to your health. Doctors are not gods.

Second, I would look into alternative therapies. They exist and once again, doctors aren't going to tell you about them. The results are mixed. Still, what have you got to lose? Just don't ignore traditional medicine to go exclusively with some herbal remedy.

I'd also suggest that you and your wife read up on reincarnation. You can find lots of books on both reincarnation and the afterlife, or life in between lives if you look on Amazon. I wish that I could recommend a definitive guidebook on the topic, but I haven't found one. I suggest that you start with the main authors and read them all. I have believed in reincarnation for 35 years. It is a great comfort. Death takes on a new perspective. I really can't explain it on a bulletin board. It just takes too much interaction to understand the meaning of life because, in essence, that's what we're talking about.

I apologize in advance if my belief offends anyone, but the OP asked what I would do and this is it.

What I'd personally would do:

Step one: get as many loans and credit cards I can get my hands on.

Step two: quit job and get plane tickets to Colombia

Step three: party in Colombia till I pass away.

Long story short, several years ago (around 2004) I had a vision problem and docs thought I had a brain tumor. Back then, imaging was done in a big tube where you had to lie still for about an hour. Dozens of tests. For about two weeks, I was pretty sure I would soon be dead. Nothing. Nada. It cleared up. Poof. Here I am.

All that said, I have approached life much differently since. When I first saw your post, I thought to myself "most of us probably have two years to live". Some of us don't have that long. Live your life. Do what you've always dreamed of. Make life the one you want to live. Love one another. Love like it's the last time you will.

You don't know she won't pull through this. Remember how you feel right now. When she pulls through, don't quit feeling the way you do right now.

Wife diagnosed with aggressive cancer in early 40’s when pregnant with our third child so have some comments here.

-Your single biggest dynamic to decide is how you want to fight. We fought tooth and nail hoping to find something that worked that would let her live. But that meant really hard treatments. Chemo, radiation, surgery, clinical trials, traveling to see experts. All of this eats into your time AND your quality of life. It is a true mind f*** because you feel obligated to try for the sake of kids, family, etc but it keeps you from living two years on a beach in the Virgin Islands.

-My wife craved peace and solitude and quiet. She wanted to be in nature. She said all the time how she would close her eyes and just feel the breeze on her skin. You can do this from almost anyplace.

-If there were a few things that she really wanted to do (skydive, see Paris, etc) 100% do that and plan your treatments with some breaks if possible.

-Bring friends in from wherever they are. Those were some of her happiest times when I would fly in friends from high school or college and they would sit and reminisce about the past.

I am really sorry you are going through this as I would not wish it upon anyone.

And for those reading that aren’t in the situation, maybe realize you could be one day and to live your life more “on purpose”………..

It may sound corny, but I'd try hard to leave everyone with great memories. They're one of the only lasting legacies one can leave.

And for those reading that aren’t in the situation, maybe realize you could be one day and to live your life more “on purpose”………..[/quote]

I would like to add to this.

If you are a friend of a cancer patient, know how important you are to that person. Spend some time, offer a shoulder, shed a tear, say a prayer together, have normal conversation etc... They know they arent alone in the struggle and are loved. That brings some peace that is so much better for the patient than not having anyone. Ive seen that and its really sad.

mr38 wrote:

My spouse (age roughly 40 years) has cancer, and chances are she'll be dead within a few years. She'll probably quit her job in the next few months, but I'll still be working. She doesn't really have a great passion or hobby to pursue, her everyday physical health is fairly normal although her treatments make her more tired than before.

Even if you love running there's only so much time you can spend running. Lots of people love to travel but honestly it's exhausting and kind of boring after a few weeks. What would you do?

Travel, run, eat good food, etc. Maybe tie up loose ends.

Do what makes her happy. Try to travel early when she is feeling better (some of the cancer treatments can tire a person out). Spend time with friends, spend a month at a condo on the beach in Belize, go to Yellowstone, go to Alaska. Check to see if there are new mRNA treatments (one of the positive things to come out of COVID) to see if they can genetically target her cancer. Cancer sucks. I lost my mom to it over ten years ago (she was in her 60s), a cousin a month ago (she was in her 40s), a friend in his 20s, and numerous others. Good luck with your journey. Try to enjoy the time you have left together.

Easy.

Find bad guys. Expose bad people. Serial killer. Lots of loans. Mozzarella sticks. Attend tons of professional sports games

easy answer wrote:

Easy.

Find bad guys. Expose bad people. Serial killer. Lots of loans. Mozzarella sticks. Attend tons of professional sports games

I agree with eating a lot of mozzarella sticks and taking out loans but why find serial killers? Seems like a lot of effort/wasn’t time

Make a few impulse buys for stuff I have always considered frivolous or overpriced. Try some new things: nonfiction books, music, Art, recipes. Touch base with some family and friends I've not seen in a while in casual context. Organize paperwork and legal matters. (Include care of pets and gardens etc.) Designate any things of sentimental or dollar value to specific folks. Avoid going on about medical stuff and miseries or political matters.

But mainly carry on as close to "normal" as possible.

Keep it light but not silly or dark. Carpe Diem.

I wake up every morning with this mentality and I feel as if I'm in wartime like it's 1920 or 1940 again, baby. I like to give a little to others and have some fun myself. In the meantime I will stand up to the oppressive institution and not enable them to take away our rights and freedoms without a hell of a fight. Liberalism is a disease. The media is the real virus. This is war, baby.

Bucket list.

Take a helicopter ride through the Grand Canyon, go on a tandem base jump, see the Northern Lights, get front row seats to see your favorite band or sports team perform, learn to fly a Cessna, and hike a 14er.

And most importantly, quit your job ASAP. Nobody spends their last days wishing that they spent more time at work.

pumpkin man wrote:

It may sound corny, but I'd try hard to leave everyone with great memories. They're one of the only lasting legacies one can leave.

This is really good.

I am sorry to hear about your spouse. I hope my post doesn't get deleted but my response would be to find new passions. Maybe a musical instrument. Enjoy good food. Hire maids, so don't worry about cleaning.

feels good man wrote:

What I'd personally would do:

Step one: get as many loans and credit cards I can get my hands on.

Step two: quit job and get plane tickets to Colombia

Step three: party in Colombia till I pass away.

This should be the answer for pretty much everyone who doesn't have kids, though feel free to substitute "Colombia" with a variety of other inexpensive and beautiful places.

For someone with kids, the answer should clearly be to stalk and terminate a despot so as to do your kids proud and go down fighting.

Tell her to give Jesus Christ a try. It won't cost you or her any money. Christian churches don't charge admission fees. If you want to donate, then donate. If you don't, then don't. Spend as much time with family as possible. In the end, nobody cares what car you drove, house you lived in, your best 5k, where you went on vacation, how many triathlons you completed, or clubs that you were apart of.