How do you sub elites deal with lonliness

“No man is an island.”

Put more effort into reaching out. Join a club. It feels like it but you’re not alone man(or woman).

You can pursue running without sacrificing social interaction if that’s what you want. There are others like you out there who aren’t even runners. You say you can’t find any but id wager you haven’t looked hard enough. You can have a social life with people who don’t share the same lifestyle as well. Just need to be a bit more open minded about it.

As an introvert I know how freaking hard it can be to get out of your shell and break the cycle. The first step is trying to get to know people who at face value don’t seem like someone you’re interested in. Accept invitations even if you’re not initially excited - or invite others to do things even if they tell you they’re busy. You might surprise yourself

Have you considered adjusting your priorities?

lonely sub elite wrote:

Sub elite here - I work and run. Pretty much no friends or SO. Do all my runs alone. How do you all handle the lonliness that comes with this lifestyle? It’s Halloween and I see everyone out but I have a long run tomorrow. Can’t find any dates or friends that live a similar life style as an adult. How do you all justify this life style and not feel lonely/sad?

Narcissus was so self absorbed in his own pursuits and love for hinself, he shunned all others.

You are making yourself lonely. All of us would be lonely if we didn't reach out to others.

lonely sub elite wrote:

Sub elite here - I work and run. Pretty much no friends or SO. Do all my runs alone. How do you all handle the lonliness that comes with this lifestyle? It’s Halloween and I see everyone out but I have a long run tomorrow. Can’t find any dates or friends that live a similar life style as an adult. How do you all justify this life style and not feel lonely/sad?

How is this even possible? Running IS my social life! I'm not quite sub-elite, but I'm still fast enough to hang with real sub-elites (and actual elites at times) on their easy days. And it's always fun to join the super easy pub runs and so forth on recovery days just for the social aspect. Start with a running store club team. If you're in any decent sized city, there are bound to be other people who run a similar paces at least some of the days of the week.

Subelite here. But just so. I have a stable of slower training partners that I run with for part of my easy days. I’ll do 10k, then meet them for the second 10k, but at 7:15-7:45 pace which is slower than normal for me but still useful. Drinking socially only once a week the night after the long run. I have people over & make dinner for them for but start early. This is dumb but also lots of men/women that I text with because frankly that fits into running life easier. For sure I am a bit slower at running because part of life is carved out for non-monastic running. The other thing is that even on my best day Id still be 15 minutes slower that the world class guys and too slow to be full time professional, so being 18-20 min slower but connecting with humans is worth the trade off.

Could be worse. I’ve been injured for years and can barely run anymore. Still have no one to hang out with. Some of us are just boring and don’t attract friends. Try to make the best of it and do things with my dog 🤷🏼‍♂️

Find some hobbies outside of running. It will help balance it.

What do you do over the weekends when you're not training/working. Even if you work 9-5, train 1-2 hours on weekday and 2-3 hours on weekends, that still leaves a shyte ton of free time.

You can still do all your training, but give yourself permission to have fun, do what you want as well, instead of allowing your obsession with running to stop you from doing other things. As long as you get in the mileage, you will be fine. Smoking a bowl, going out on the weekends to drink, meeting people, doing something you want will not hinder your running performances as long as you don't miss training. Feel hungover? Just do an easy long run and don't worry about pace. I've seen people regret being too obsessed with running. But it's all in your head. You need the right balance.

I'd much rather be a 2:49 marathoner (which I am) and have a wife, kids, friends, sex life etc. than be a miserable lonely 2:21 guy. Don't understand the obsession that some sub-elites have with running, it's not like it's making them any money or even getting them 0.1% the respect that elites get. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being sub-elite but if it drives you to depression don't do it LOL.

I just keep telling myself how awesome I am when I'm alone sitting by myself. Makes me feel good, I seem to believe it and it works, try it.

ClaytonHammer wrote:

I'd much rather be a 2:49 marathoner (which I am) and have a wife, kids, friends, sex life etc. than be a miserable lonely 2:21 guy. Don't understand the obsession that some sub-elites have with running, it's not like it's making them any money or even getting them 0.1% the respect that elites get. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being sub-elite but if it drives you to depression don't do it LOL.

Many people struggle with mood disorders - obviously not you. Running is a great way to 'even things out' and relieve stress.

Surely there are clubs or meetups for people who run 2:21 or any time marathons?

Stay on the grind, son.

The more you get to know people the less you like people.

I thought about this: you know what’s worse than being a 2:49 guy? Nothing. Wait. Yes being ok with being a 2:49 guy. Dude that’s like a brisk walk. Perhaps start a website called ‘lestbriskwalk.com’, where your whole hearted embrace of mediocrity becomes reality? LOL!!

The worst is being a former 2:21 guy with no social skills, few real friends, and a stalled work career that wakes up at age 35 and realizes that life and youth has passed him by.

Age happens. You will get slower as it happens. No one will care about your age graded ramblings and your tales of being a semifast 20 something as you become a pathetic Uncle Rico. Laugh it up now fast hobby joggers because time will turn you into an old slow hobby jogger just as sure as death and taxes. Nothing attracts success and women like a sun damaged underweight middle aged man with a rapidly receding hairline prattling on about his college track days and he almost got an OTQ.

You need to focus on making quality friendships

Hosford wrote:

I thought about this: you know what’s worse than being a 2:49 guy? Nothing. Wait. Yes being ok with being a 2:49 guy. Dude that’s like a brisk walk. Perhaps start a website called ‘lestbriskwalk.com’, where your whole hearted embrace of mediocrity becomes reality? LOL!!

this is youth and 110% ignorance speaking.