Biggest Bullshit Lie You've Ever Heard About Running Times or Workouts

Variation of the same old BS, but here goes:

At the Y last Thursday, a muscle-bound guy (actually competes in bodybuilding competitions) whom I'd seen but never talked to before came up to me to talk about running because he apparently knew I was a runner. He goes on and on asking about what distances I run, how I train, etc., then drops the big one: "I run this course near my house about twice a week. It's 12 miles and it usually takes me a little less than an hour by the clock on my kitchen wall."

Perhaps Kerry and Bush join him as well ...

My fiance has a friend who was engaged to a guy who claimed to have run a 3:48 mile the same year Webb ran his 3:53. The guy ran for a private high school in texas and said that his times were never recognized because he didn't run for a public school. Then he said that he would train for the olympics, but it would make him too proud of himself and he wanted to stay humble.

dufmonkey:

Please find out the name of this guy and post it here. If you are not making up a bs story, that is the least you can do. There are a lot of us here who would like to be able to look this guy's name up and see if he has done anything at all in running.

Thanks

I had a guy at the bar the other night that told me if he worked at it, he could run sub 4 minutes in the mile. He was smoking a cig and drinking a large beer (adding to his belly). I just let him talk at first, then I told a few others and we all started talking shit to him until he shut his mouth and admitted he was retarded for saying that.

This lady posted on coolrunning.com in the newbie forum a couple of weeks ago -

She said she'd only been running since February, but ran a 15:10 5K.

And in a later post that she was training to try for a BQ.

15:10? Uh huh.

I coach Track/CC in a rural high school. We had a sophomore girl this spring who just started running in Feb. and made it to the State meet in the 3200, running around 12:32. One of the secretaries at the school has a daughter who is a senior this year. The mother told some people around the school and some parents of other team members that her daughter had gone out on the track and run a faster time than our sophomore's. Needless to say, I was intrigued. The senior is built like a runner, so I was hoping it was real. When school started back this August and I had convinced the senior to run cross, I asked her what she had run for two miles. She stared at me with a confused look on her face and said she had never been timed on the track. I thought, "Oh boy, here we go." She didn't break 30:00 in our first race and I don't think she broke 27:00 all season.

My brother-in-law is a former Army Ranger and could kill me a number of ways with his bare hands. My wife and I are the only two runners in her family, and when the talk turns to running, his ego runs wild. He once told us in front of mixed company that his "best mile was 3:55." He also tells me often that he "should come to road races with me to run them with me." I harbor no illusions of grandeur as to my competitive level with my 15:53 PR, but it cracks me up that he really thinks he ran that fast.

But didn'd Danny Mayberry walk about 100 miles a day.

The sad reality is that I have been like one of these guys too many times. In highschool I had some pretty good times for an HS guy, got injured in second year U, got really sick, lost focus and took a three year break. Spent my late 20's trying to get it back. People must have thought I was a total liar when I would say my 1500 PB was 3:55, given that they never saw me run much under 4:20.

So, I had this coworker come up to me last week. First of all, she always talks running with me. She apparently used to run and has ran Chicago, Houston, and maybe more marathons, which I believe. Now she has back problems and is a pretty big girl, ~200lbs I would guess (big in the gut and boobs). A few weeks back she told me she went out for a run , "and I just felt like a runner again." I do feel her pain somewhat I guess, but then she hit me with this: She was talking to me about the marathon that I had recently completed, and threw out a comment about this "time she ran in college." She said that there was this guy at SIU that was an ultra-runner and would always do all of his runs on the track. She said that he would normally start at 7 or 8 in the morning and go till 3 or 4 in the afternoon all on the track. So one day she decided to join him, this was just soon after she had taken up running. She met him at the track at 7am and they just kept going till about 2pm. She said that was "the most she had ever ran" and "was so tired afterwards." At this point I was drifting away. She finished up by saying the next weekend she ran her first race, a 10k. She said she didn't know what she was doing and just took off so fast and ran a great time. She said she was never able to run that fast again, and that is still her 10k PR. She attributed it to two things: 1) inexperience allowing her to run balls out the whole race, and 2) the 7-2 workout on the track the week before.

I guess its kinda like Mike McCray running a marathon when he was 8 in under 4 hours.

I know this guy Chris Kennedy who told everybody he was injured and couldn't run for a while because he got hit by a car driven by a 100-yr old man.

Wow, Laura, that is a great story. It reminds me of the time I was munching on some clover in this guys yard when all of a sudden I see some PSE sights centered on my guts. Before I knew it the shaft had blasted all the way through me. In that searing moment of pain, I knew I had to make it through the fence or I would be on this shizzolator's grill in ten minutes. I made it out but couldn't stem the flow of blood that was leaving an easy trail for the hunter to follow. I went across a nighbor's driveway but there encountered an even more dangerous predator: Stewbaby, the Slazinski's housecat. As I was trying to figure out how to outsmart Stewbaby, I saw the hunter approaching with his bow. All of a sudden I recognized my stalker. He recently finished second in the Mid-South Marathon Championships! He's a marathoner and therefore consumed with slow-twitch muscles! It was then and there the plan was hatched: sprint like mad and hope he couldn't follow. As you can see, the plan worked. Vengeance will be mine this summer when the marathoner has a beautiful vegetable garden.

How can you say that you and your wife are the only two runners in the family. I, Uncle Ralph, and my boy have been know to jump in races trying to win some booze for New Year's, and what about Uncle Roger. No doubt that guy could blast out a 1:48 half chasing after a coyote that dun stole one uh his chickens. Wes was a Blue Raider, you know he could do some wind sprints. And surely you're not gonna dis out on little Jaye-Bird, she was one of Cariko's Blue Angel's. Once upon a time, your adopted son, the dethroned king of the milk, Brian Sucher, was known to be able to tackle a race or two. How well he tackled them we might have to ask Reinhardt, since he had probably already dropped out and was walking, which gave him a good vantage point.

i tell hs kids i coach my hs xc pr. but they think it's a 5k when it was really a 3 mile.

i also say i used to run 20 milers in college under 2 hours. but we always cut the runs short and they were more like 17-18 miles.

and, i tell them i broke my pr in the 880 8 times in one college workout. my pr going into the workout was 2:15 (i hadn't run a competitive half since freshman year of hs) and i ran between 2:11-2:07 in the workout. that one is true. but it was on grass and i always doubted it was an accurate distance.

i'm going to hell.

anything chirp plouman says

About 10 years ago, I joined a health club and, due to club regulations, a "trainer" had to follow me around the circuits for the first couple of times I went. I told the "trainer" that I did some running. He said he did, too, and asked if I'd run a recent local (VERY local) 5K race. I hadn't, and asked if he had. His response--

"No, but I wish I had. I saw that the winning time was (high 16:00 or something; can't remember but was VERY good for the area). You KNOW I would've gone out the first mile at 4:10-4:20 pace and kicked it in from there..."

Uh, huh.

More Army stuff:

In college, the ROTC guys would ask about some of our 10K times. When we'd tell them what they were, they'd always say that they ran faster than that in their previous PT run, with 80 lbs of gear on their backs. When we asked them what course the ran, it turns out it was the four mile course we used to do some of our shorter morning runs.

One of my former teammates went into the army and set the 2 mi record. He went out at an easy pace and was clocked at the mile marker in 3:40's. He thinks the course may have been a little short. Got to love those gov't rulers..

200

Anybody remember that SI article from about '79 or so in which heavyweight boxer Leon Spinks claimed he ran 10 miles every morning in 50 minutes or faster?