marriage is hell. why haven't we figured out an alternative?

I checked in on a college girlfriend some time back. She's had over 30 years to get things together, but has managed to be divorced three times during that span.

It's not for everyone, it appears.

I checked in on a college girlfriend some time back. She's had over 30 years to get things together, but has managed to be divorced three times during that span.

It's not for everyone, it appears.

somewhat fast guy wrote:

Precious Roy wrote:

Been with my wife for over 20 years. I couldn't imagine being back in the dating scene. I can 100% be myself with my wife and don't have to pretend to like movies, restaurants, bands, etc. just to have a chance at getting some action. Being in a perpetual state of dating is a horrible way to live. Why in the world would anyone want to spend all their time trying to compete for a woman's attention when you can get married and be done with that?

Why would you want to be with the same person for your entire life? Doesn't that get stale? It's like eating the same food for every meal. Even if it's your favorite, you're going to get sick of it.

The truth is yes, it does get stale and boring, but what you are ignoring in your little analogy is that most of us aren't looking at eating this same meal or choosing an all you can eat buffet. We're eating this same meal or we starve.

bigopera wrote:

I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.

Here for all the sad married men. Look me up on OF and let's talk running.

mount in wrote:

Honest response:

The wisdom of marriage is lost on the self-centered. In a world focused on "me time" and "self care" it doesn't compute well. It's an institution designed to compel individuals to consider the well-being of others (especially when kids enter the picture) above one's self. The lesson kicks in when you discover, ironically, that your selfless sacrifices generate a significantly more fulfilling and joyful existence for yourself.

^^^ So true. Most people are narcissists and there is not a lot of room for narcissism with a family to care for and mouths to feed. People who won't/can't adapt end up divorced or miserable. Those who can end up happy and fulfilled. Marriage is not about finding the right person, it's about being the right person (no clue who but not my quote).

I must have married the right girl, lots of sex, enjoy being together, happy, great kids. She loves to work out, travel and sports. But it's only been 35 yrs so who knows how long it will last...

Is it supposed to be happy?

I think it is more for stability for children so the world does not fall into deeper chaos and tragedy.

Here I am, thrilled to death to be married to a great great woman, yep, lucky guy!

bigopera wrote:

I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.

That's a trick answer right there.

I am happily married but I am not a single person anymore.

So, I guess you are right.

bigopera wrote:

I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.

So you don't speak from personal experience of marriage. Of course not. But I wouldn't worry. It isn't going to happen to you any time soon.

bigopera wrote:

I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.

Marriage is social solution depending of the mental of every person.

Some persons say they feel more stable when married, other persons say no way with it.

Our old parents had the habitude to say: "we marry and have children so that our sons work for us". And so marriage is a system associated with poverty.

But what debunk me the most are the trends (political) LGBT or LGBTQIA+ (and other "noms de Dieu") that want associate themselves with a model that was brought with classic religions in the first place.

Sure Vladimir Putine and Xi Jinping are not happy with the new trend.

The alternative is the STA method. I'm with a woman who has shockingly handed me over all her finances to invest and make the money extrapolate. What a god damn angel. If it ever ends i may or may not commit suicide. Team work makes the dream work, baby.

The institution of marriage is primarily for the government's convenience. They love to track people and marriage makes it easier for them.

Sex and marriage education is even farther behind in this country than general ed. Marriage and sex are subjects that ought to be required in school. Some theoretical classes are offered in some places, but most of us have been totally learn-as-you-live victims. Marriage licensing should require testing and training. Child bearing should require some form of screening and counseling. (Yes, it all depends on details of form and method.)

It is quite obvious this is simply another misogynistic thread. Without it being explicit, the reason marriage is "hell" (from an OP who has never been married) is women. The incels never fail to find a voice here.