not married, no kids. feel like I dodged a bullet

Well 1 out of 2 is quite the failure rate isn't it?

Infinity wrote:

Boys will be boys

This!

/ Thread

Nobody with kids is ever going to admit that they would be better off without kids. It's just not possible. You'd be saying that you think the world would be better without this person alive. Nobody is saying that about their kid, no matter how crappy that kid is.

I'll be 48 tomorrow (Halloween baby). Divorced, no kids. Clean divorce (no alimony etc). Now living with my g/f and her 14yr old kid. Dad shares 50% custody. Luckily he's got plenty of $$ as I don't support the kid at all aside from treating him to a burger here and there.

Sometimes I like being in a relationship. Other times I don't. When you're single for awhile like I was, it gets lonely, especially at night. But when you wake up, you're like, "I'm free!".

I've never wanted kids and if I had it to over, I probably would have only dated a woman without them and who didn't want any. But it's not easy to find a woman like that.

With all said and done, there are pros and cons to each side. But being single with no kids and never married, I don't see a damn thing wrong with it. I love dogs and have always had them and I'll take them over kids anyday. Just my preference. Obviously, if you crave marriage and a family, you should head in that direction.

I'll never get married again and if my g/f and I ever do break up, I'll have no problem being single.

NotPC wrote:

Nobody with kids is ever going to admit that they would be better off without kids. It's just not possible. You'd be saying that you think the world would be better without this person alive. Nobody is saying that about their kid, no matter how crappy that kid is.

Also, some of those kids turn out to be truly horrible human beings. But I’ve never seen a parent concede that they raised a monster.

Probably

A classic thread. I was team get married when I first read this thread in 2017, but now I am unsure. Pros and cons to both lifestyles but as a young adult I love spending money as I please and not having to worry about others needs. I am not sure if I could give this up.

Being a DINK or a SINK is an underrated thing--freedom to do what you want, when you want is HUGE. Being able to sleep in on weekends is great too. My job is solid and an 830-5 so I have a steady schedule and can get runs in. A lot of stud runners in our area are single and killing races b/c they have great jobs and great time management. In fairness, even those with kids (Gen Xers and older Millennials) are able to get runs in so even if you get married with kids you can still run fast.

But being without kids is great b/c being able to put in 50 mpw with no restrictions (other than work) is great. Married right now but no kids. Maybe in the future but that's not a 100% thing either.

A lot of people I know from 25-40 that don't have kids have doggos/cats instead, so those are substitutes.

Everyone has different paths!

Have them or don't.

I feel like children are almost a vestigial remnant of a bygone society. And many people feel the need to have children because society tells them it's what they're supposed to do. That being said, there are many people that genuinely want to have kids and become parents. There is no right answer. Do whatever makes you happy.

The fact these topics are so contentious show that both extremes on either side of this are wrong. People who end up one way or another tend to need to rationalize their position as a defense mechanism. I think there is a tendency for people to passive aggressively lash out at the people who made the opposing decisions, ex. couples icing out single friends socially post 20s, single people taking glee in their married friends divorces, etc.