Biggest Bullshit Lie You've Ever Heard About Running Times or Workouts

Well if you take a long enough rest, no it's not insane, but the workout would be hella long.

Look on any High School coaches entry sheets for any major invitational. that's where you'll see the real BS. Back in '83 I had just gotten here from Down Under and had a real stud 400m runner. The kid had run a state record in both the 500 and 300 and we were prepping for the Yale Invitational. I didn't have a 400 time, so I made one up. His 5 and 3 indicated he was probably capable of running 49 point. I then looked in T and F News and saw that I had seeded him with the 10th fastest indoor time in the country from the year before. Feeling a bit nervous about it, we show up at the meet to find out the kid is not in the top 4 heats! He runs 49.7 all by himself and the winner runs a shade faster. I guess it proves at least 16 coaches bullshit better than I do.

At first it wasn't bad...maybe 2:00 a lap for the recovery. I thought I was the man. Then, after about the 12th one, I started adding about :10 a recovery lap. By the end I was doing like 5:00 for the 400 jog. With that much recovery, anyone can run 64's. It was rough. Needless to say I was wasted and the workout accomplished zilch.

You want bullshit times--just check out the "PRs" people claimed to get into the Mt. SAC meets.

There's this fat manager bloke at work who claimed to me that he runs 7 miles from his mums and back once a week in just under 50mins. The guy can't even be bothered to get out of his chair at work all day and I doubt he could even run a mile let alone 7. He drinks about 15 pints of beer a night and I think it's affected him.

jzs wrote:

I have no doubt that Sydney could have run 51-53min for 10 miles nearly everyday.

I have plenty of doubt about it. But just to be clear, he said he'd run it around 50 min, if I recall the interview correctly.

I once met a woman at a party who told me she had been an All-American in the 10,000 at Marquette in 1986 (I may be off a year or two). I asked her if she knew Keith Hanson (who had been NCAA champ for Marquette the exact year she claims to have been A-A) and she said she had no idea who he was.

Just today a guy told me that when he was in the Army he could run 4 minutes for the mile... for a mile and a half. I just grinned and agreed.

I think this one wins the thread:

``seek to deny me (Regina) the opportunity to compete in the upcoming Olympics on the grounds that something I (Regina) have never heard of, and which was not on any list of banned substances,'' should be considered ``somehow `related' to something'' on track's list of banned substances. -Regina Jacobs

el g.'s 3:43......certainly drug (epo) related! but nobody wants to test him...he's never been tested.

I had a BS seed time of 1:50.8 (though I had split 1:51 point a few times) for the JMU last chance meet this year. Despite the fact that maybe two people in the whole meet ran that time, I was in the 3rd heat. While it took times under 1:52 to get into the third heat, after I finished, I turned around to see Duke's coach congratulating some kid..."you did it! I had you at under 1:55! Great job!"

It seems to me that his sub 1:52 seed time was excessive BS, considering he was thrilled to crack 1:55. But that's Duke.

Not as bad as morgan st or choppin. Go to penn st's national invite in indoor, you will see 50-60 guys seeded in each event faster than what the 10th place finisher ends up running.

We should force all times to be submitted to a public database. Then, when an athlete is seeded for a race, the database could automatically produce a seed time for him. If he hasn't run the event yet, there is a way for the database to interpolate his time using other performances (say assign quality points to each event, look at events on either side, average the quality points and produce a time of that averaged quality).

It would create a public domain performance list, and if the hosting meet had computer access and the right software, it could eliminate ridiculous seed times. It's getting too hard to guess how much you have to lie just to keep up with the other guys that lie worse.

Hell, I could write the software for it. Any takers?

I worked with a guy years ago that lied about everything too. I had just had a custom paint job done on my motorcycle. This guy says he once put 26 coats on a bike he had. Can you imagine how thick and heavy that would be? He also ran the 100 in 9.6 yds that is. Won state in wrestling, had been an undercover cop. Worked for the FBI, been in the secret service, was married to a Playboy centerfold, driven a drag racer to nearyl 300mph, all state in football, and then that time in the 100 got down to 9.4. when we called bullshit. He'd look you in the eye and say whatever and go right on to the next whopper.

Just to be clear, I know & understand what was quoted about SM, I also know what I said. Did you read what I wrote? So You doubt that SM could have run 53 minutes for 10 miles everyday? Why? We are talking about a Cat that was a 13:01/3:29 running freak. I never said he was going to run under 50 everyday but I believe 51-53 would be reasonable. Take your 5k pace add a 60-70 seconds you are in the zone.

Where do we start...One kid I ran wih in HS who was a very talented runner (4:12 HS) state champion and is having success in college now said he ran 11 mpw. Funny thing is, that day we ran 9+. So I guess he ran a 200 each day after that.

One kid my freshman year in college was a local kid who ran a few counties over from me and I never heard of him and I was a stat freak in HS, i knew everyone. He said he ran the "Jersey Shore Marathon" in 2:57 in HS. The interesting thing is that there is no Jersy Shore Marathon. He would pound distance runs the first 2 months of xc like no ones business. But that was literally like a race for him because when we would race, he only ran 30:xx for 8k. I looked him up and he ran like 10:40, 4:55 and 17:50 in HS. The really interesting part of this story is that he was crazy. Not only did he have 2 lazy eyes, crusty drool at the corner of his mouth, claim he dated the hottest chick on the field hockey team and say he was going to break the existing school records his freshman year, but he also stole checks from his roomate (who was also on the team) and wrote them to himself. Oh yeah, he got kicked out of the University in late october for making a bomb threat to one of his professors. Damn that kid was crazy. The names Rogerson, Jason Rogerson.

Another one is of a kid who claims he runs ridiculous times in their 3k time trial at the end of XC every year but then never even approaches it come indoors. He said he ran 8:15 or something, but has never been under 8:35 in a real meet.

Lastly and most important, is all the letsrun.com posters who make up their typical bullshit stories. I love how everyone is a "mediocre" 14:30/30:30 runner on this board.

This past cross country season I had a freshman sending me training updates all summer telling me he was doing two 100+ minute training runs per week, and all the rest of his runs were 5-6 miles at 6:00 pace in the dark. He also was telling me how he loved cross and was going to be no worse than #2 on the team.

First day we ran 90 minutes - he had to stop 3-4 times and was throwing up...they were probably running 7:30 pace at best. The next 2 days were easy runs of maybe 6 miles in 45 minutes...he was falling off the back every run. Then we did a 2 mile time trial - he ran something like 13:00+. Missed practice the next two days, then showed up to turn in his stuff. Said the recovery days were too hard and too fast (remember, he claimed he to be running 5+ miles @ 6:00 pace for his easy days in the summer), and if he wasn't going to win, he wasn't going to run. Besides, "track was his real focus" so he just wanted to train for the 800.

When we started track practice, we had to schedule two 7 AM practices each week since I was still in cross and had no assistants to handle track. He emails me and says "I don't want to come to 7 AM, so I'm just going to run on my own". When told that wasn't an option, he decided that track was also no longer his real focus.

I also liked the guy who told me he was receiving full ride offers from several DI universities and so he couldn;t make a commitment to our DIII program. His times: 11.5 100, 23.7 200m, 55.4 400m.

Wish I could say these were the biggest, but unfortunately they are just the freshest in my memory,

100th post!!!... and this will be the 49th t-shirt I will get from the brojos challenge to do so. The have been excellent at paying up so far! All of my running buddies and I really appreciate it. Thanks, Wejo!

The biggest crock of shit is people who do a 8k in the 26's one week and then four weeks later on the same course run in the 32's and say they're not overtrained!

Supposedly El G does all his aerobic work at a 4:50- 5:07 pace depending on "how he feels". I guess if these were tempo runs in would make sense, but I'm sure he doesn't do this every day. If he does though it might say something about the way us American's train.

At the biggest Invite in our state last Outdoor Season we had these two kids from the same school, I cant even remember who it was, Anyways, theyre seeded at 2:00 for 800 and run a 2:27 and 2:28. And then go on to run a 11:58 and 12:XX for 3200 after being seeded at 9:47 and 9:45 respectfully. Oh this was the same meet that had 26 guys seeded at 2:00 flat for 800 or under and only 5 did it.

After a track workout one weekend, I had to stop and get gas. I walked into the store to pay and upon seeing my track shirt, the lady behind the counter acts very excited and says ?Oh! I ran track in high school! Are you a distance runner or a sprinter!?? ?Distance? I replied, as I tried to figure out if she had even been in school after title IX came into play. ?OH! Me TOO!? she says. ?I ran the 220 in under a minute, the 440 in.... ohhhh under a minute also, and the 880 in about... a minute and a half.? Since I didn?t really feel like arguing running with a toothless gas station attendant, I just smiled and walked away. My coach was in the car, and we got quite a laugh on the way home. I guess being the world record holder in the 800 would want to make me knock out my teeth and work at a gas station too.