Anyone else ever totally destroy a pizza buffet?

Golden Corral is a freak show. Disgusting slobs everywhere. America at its worst.

I once had another customer comment how many times I went up and hoe full my plates were.

Sheesh, I was hungry.

You young punks need to enjoy destroying buffets now. As a middle aged man, I just can't do the damage I used to. I'm full after three plates, tops.

What inspired you to look up and bump a 4 year old thread on wrecking buffets?

My most recent episode involved Golden Corral. I sat in a corner so as to try and insulate myself from the crowd, and gave a nasty stare to anyone who sat too close. This time, I didn't even bother with silverware; rather, I ate straight off the plate, like a little piggy. My face covered in the remnants, I also growled loudly as I devoured the gluttonous feast. Hitting the buffet at 10:30 during the breakfast/lunch changeover allowed me to consume pancakes drowning in syrup, eggs, and bacon, as well as mac and cheese, pasta, beef, and enough yeast rolls to float a barge. Then I turned my attention to the desserts. Oh, the desserts. I loaded a plate of banana pudding so high I could almost go diving in it. The pies, the cakes, the self serve ice cream, the brownies. I destroyed them all.

By this point, my stomach hurt so badly that I didn't know if I could even drive home. What choice did I have but to go to the men's room and once again begin to spin around in pinwheel fashion, arms extended, until I was projectile vomiting. The stall, walls, sink, floor, and urinal were covered in a colorful display of regurgitation.

Okay, now I can drive home. I walk out, only to discover that they'd brought out those little sliders I like so much. So I grabbed another plate and started the whole process all over again.

I visited a Golden Corral on Saturday. The food was pure slop, the restrooms were nasty, and it was unsanitary. Gross.

Why do you think they call it a corral? Mooooo!

A lot of plugs for Golden Corral but their primary competitor, Hometown Buffet, slides under the radar. Indistinguishable and equally bad. My last time, a lot came back up out in the parking lot.

Anyway, I wanted to mention casino buffets. Maybe you have to be in Nevada to have very much access to these, but they are scattered around elsewhere too.

I always point out to anyone I'm going with that the secret to the casino buffet is to eat the desserts first. Unlike GC and HTB, and certainly unlike Indian and pizza buffets with a bare minimum dessert selection, the case containing them is right near the host stand. It is the first thing visible. Usually, you can't really see the hot line and the butcher (or carver) before going in although sometimes the salad bar is barely visible - behind the desserts.

Now, I frequently go alone, but anyone with much experience at these places who regularly goes with others (as I have many times) will recognize this banter:

"Man, am I going to do some damage to those desserts. I'll take down apple pie, pumpin pie, chocolate cake, and donuts. Look at those little [something unusual that caught their eye]. There's only six of them sitting there. Better watch out! That's before I get started on the ice cream." It's because they are visible as you are paying and before being led to your table. It's inevitably the first thing on people's minds.

Well, they never make it there. Most patrons eat little or no desserts. It is somewhat unusual for everyone at my table to be taking down cake, pie, and cookies at the end. If you don't take care of it right out of the gate, it is for many people, impossible to fit any in.

My first round is always desserts. Four or five different things, usually. Maybe more. Then on to the entrees. Then salads. Ice cream is always last.

For those who are trying to eat more slices, here's a trick that never fails.

When you get to the point where you are starting to feel full, eat a full spoon of xylitol with half glass of water. Wait for about 10 minutes before eating the next slice. It takes about 30 minutes for full effect. You can easily eat 6 more slices than you thought was possible.

You can buy xylitol at Walmart/Amazon and put a spoonful in a Ziploc bag to take with you to the buffet.

I loved Shakey's Pizza as a kid.

The same thing that inspired me to bump it. It's a great thread. Oink Oink, my friends.

I destroyed a Valentino's pizza buffet line my senior year of high school, then recalled we had a 1600 time trial in about 90 minutes. I was on school record pace with 200 to go but had to shut it down, hurlage near.

Zaks in Moab !🔥

Sadly, pizza hut's buffet is no more. Destroyed, not by ravenous rail-thin distance runners looking for a bargain, but by a post-covid/pandemic change of business models.

Me too, though I had forgotten that name. At least I think it was the place. It went away in my area or maybe my parents weren't into it as much as us kids, but I haven't been to an all-you-can-eat pizza place since the early '80s.

Unlike for the OP, the pizza had no bad effect on me. I remember thinking after maybe a dozen slices, how am I not full yet? And then I'd get a few more slices. That's in contrast to the salad first all-you-can-eat places where I'd get that bloated feeling by the end.

Sometimes when I go to a buffet or if I sit around fat people at a restaurant, I get as obnoxious as possible. Grunting, mmmmhhmmm, awwww, farting, burping. Some of the fatties usually have these disgusted looks on their faces and I just laugh because it's so ironic.

This post is beautiful.

I went to Golden Corral for the first time in my life a few months ago. It was pretty gross. If I tried harder I could probably find some things that were fine.

I crushed a 10 pack of soft tacos and mountain dew after most meets in college, that is if I wasn't saving my meal stipend for booze.

My only recent bout of gluttony was eating three large lamb shanks, 6 dolmas, and a ton of rice, pita and humus. I got three entrees delivered and ate all of them. I don't think it counts for record purposes because I had smoked a ton of weed, which while not performance enhancing for running purposes, certainly is cheating for the game of eat.

Good items at Golden Corral:

Pot roast

Yeast rolls (probably their best item - I could eat dozens!)

Mac and cheese

Fried chicken (I'm serious - it is surprisingly good)

Pancakes at breakfast time

Carrot cake

Banana pudding (I could go swimming in it)

Bad items at Golden Corral:

Pizza (it's hard to screw up pizza, but they do it)

Apple pie - dry and tasteless

Fried fish