My neighbor is insane

NewEnglandOldMan wrote:

TBH, i dont see what the big issue with her wheeling her trashcans down your driveway.

i have a similar layout and i put my trashcans on the curb in front of my neighbors house vs. mine. he could care less. we are pals. he brings them back up to my house when we are away.

Is it really a big deal if she walks on our driveway?? .

I find it disrespectful because it’s trash that she wants kept away from her own living space. She told me she can’t use her driveway for her trash barrels because she “planted beautiful flowers and a basketball hoop next to it so there’s no room for them.”

So it really feels like she’s saying that she doesn’t want to look at her trash cans in her own space, but it’s fine that I have to, and that I also should allow her the right to access my property to enable her to stash the cans away from her own “beautiful” driveway.

Also, we’re not pals. She never asked permission to do this. I gather it was fine with the previous owners, but that’s not me.

Sparta kick her trashcans out of the way and then place YOUR trashcans there.

Why stop there? Buy new trashcans and place them in front of HER driveway.

This. Well, maybe even better: Ask her if she has permits to do use this as a workplace from the city and let her know you are inclined to report her unless she complies. We had a neighbor who was fighting a huge development across the street and the developer looked at her house and saw that an addition was done on her house years earlier and made this implied threat. The developer was able to build his huge house, no legal expenses fighting this... Years later now they are friends. This is a little different because its probably easy to get the permit. Also, not to slight the field, but its pretty common knowledge that a lot of people mentally ill go into mental health field.

Creepy old man wrote:

what do i do wrote:

She has a garage at the end of her driveway that she turned into her therapy office. .

You need to find out if her home is permitted for that use. If not, a call to the city is in order.

If you just bought. You have a recent property survey. Call the township code enforcer and find out what to do.

Flagpole wrote:

Your biggest mistake was allowing her to "scream" at your for 30 minutes. That was stupid. All it did was tell her that you will put up with her crap. I would have told her to have a nice day and shut the door on her about 15 seconds in.

In all honesty, you may have a VERY hard time coming back from that very large error.

If your story is true. This was the only answer. No adult has to listen to another adult scream at them. You gave her what she wanted, an audience for her grievances. If it happens again walk away, don't engage with her. Property law is pretty well established. She's not suing anyone.

wandering blabber wrote:

800 critic2 wrote:

Video her on your property and inform her and the police (via complaint) that she is trespassing. Make it clear to her first that you regard it as trespassing.

That will end that right there.

this^

put up video camera. get the footage to prove you argument.

dont engage with yelling. write down your complaint and keep a copy and give her a copy.

deal with her through the police.

know that every interaction you have with her she will misrepresent , so have it on video with audio if possible.

This exactly. Get proof, inform her she's trespassing, and report. If you want her fence that's on your property moved, then ask her in writing to remove it. Get her response in writing if possible. Then report it to police or the city- whichever deals with enforcing property rules.

This woman sounds like an entitled karen, so I understand your annoyance with her, but I also agree with your wife. It's annoying that she calls your driveway her property and feels entitled to it to the point of using it after you asked her to stop , but I also don't really get why it was such a big deal that she sometimes walks or wheels the garbage over your driveway. Unless she's like squeezing by tight coridors with risk or scratching your car or dripping nasty filth onto your driveway or sometthing, I don't really see why it's such a big deal if she walks over your driveway sometimes. It's not hurting anything (based on what you've shared) and just doesn't seem worth the pain of starting this little war with her making her into a hated enemy neighbor neighbor over this. I understand why at the point you want to stick it to her because she's a rude entitled b***h, but I also think you could have handled this better by not making such a big deal out of a minor annoyance of her coming on your driveway by foot.

If she confronts you again, grab your face, yell and fall down. Then call the police and say she assaulted you. If they ask for details say you can't remember bc she hit you in the head. That should keep her away.

Oh and you gotta quit sleeping with her...

gottarun215 wrote:

This woman sounds like an entitled karen, so I understand your annoyance with her, but I also agree with your wife. It's annoying that she calls your driveway her property and feels entitled to it to the point of using it after you asked her to stop , but I also don't really get why it was such a big deal that she sometimes walks or wheels the garbage over your driveway. Unless she's like squeezing by tight.

I don’t get this attitude. Why does he need a reason that he doesn’t want the woman on his property? How about the simple fact that private property exists for a reason?

A number of people have given him a hard time for letting her scream in his face. However, here he is setting a boundary about his own property and that is somehow wrong. When you’ve worked hard to be able to buy a house, you tend to value it more. I guess not so much for the silver spoon set here.

I live in a very highly populated area that fortunately has low crime. However that doesn’t mean ‘no’ crime. Cameras and German Shepherds make great deterrents to this type of behavior. Interestingly enough, this leads to great relationships between neighbors. People plow for each other and take care of each other’s mail and bins. Without boundaries, this stuff becomes a lot more chaotic and hard to organize.

I’ve got a neighbor that has too many cars for his driveway and doesn’t like parking them in the street. He will park them in your driveway to move his cars around and blocked my wife from the driveway when she had groceries. I made it very clear to him that this was not ok and he stopped. We actually got along better after this.

what do i do wrote:

Konfuzi.. wrote:

Have a survey done so the property line is unequivocal. Great fences(and green space) make great neighbors.

It’s been done. She still says she would sue to stop any fence construction. The properties are fairly tight and a fence would have to sit “on” the property line, rather than inside of it, due to the location of the driveway.

You are a troll or severely ignorant. You have a survey done. You can have the rods put down and put the fence right on it or bring it in an inch. She can't do anything IF your township approves of installing a fence in the front of your house between property lines. I can where I live, but only 4 feet high. But, I know you are trolling as your post makes little to no sense.

rukslsljflf wrote:

You are a troll or severely ignorant. You have a survey done. You can have the rods put down and put the fence right on it or bring it in an inch. She can't do anything IF your township approves of installing a fence in the front of your house between property lines. I can where I live, but only 4 feet high. But, I know you are trolling as your post makes little to no sense.

To have a fence sit on the property line requires consent of both property owners. She’s made it clear that no shovel shall disturb any blade of grass on her side of the line. This means putting the fence roughly a foot inside the line to account for the width of the post hole before it’s backfilled.

Because of the layout of the driveway, putting it “inside” the line is a little more complicated (would require cutting into the pavement and widening the drive on the opposite side). Doable, but a bigger project.

Regardless, I believe she would sue anyway even though it would be frivolous, and not sure it’s worth the stress of dealing with her through a lawsuit, no matter how likely I am to win (not to mention my wife already blames me for dragging us into this). I’ve never been sued and have no idea what the process is like, expense, etc.

Video the problem a few times, then hire an attorney to tell you what to do. It's unlikely she will sue you, the attorney will charge you a few hundred bucks to write a letter or two and document your efforts to cure the problem.

I had a crazy neighbor who used my back yard like his own, who then lost his mind when I was having a fence built to keep him out. He called the county twice to stop our building the fence, because he said fenceposts were going to hit an imaginary gas pipeline and explode and kill his family and "IT WOULD BE MY FAULT THEY WERE DEAD!", yelled at me by my purple-faced nut-case neighbor screaming in my face when I tried to talk to him about it. The county contacted us to tell us they had recorded his calls, in case we ever needed proof he was nuts, and to please go ahead and build the fence. If he ever causes me another problem, it will be a police report, followed by the attorney.

what do i do wrote:

Konfuzi.. wrote:

Have a survey done so the property line is unequivocal. Great fences(and green space) make great neighbors.

It’s been done. She still says she would sue to stop any fence construction. The properties are fairly tight and a fence would have to sit “on” the property line, rather than inside of it, due to the location of the driveway.

The posts are typically 4 1/2" and that is the widest part. If it was on the line which is never done anyway that means it would hang over on your side 2 1/4" which means by not having it on the line it will only be 2 1/4" more than if it was on the line.

So I'm calling complete bs on this for that reason alone.

a guy that installs fences wrote:

what do i do wrote:

It’s been done. She still says she would sue to stop any fence construction. The properties are fairly tight and a fence would have to sit “on” the property line, rather than inside of it, due to the location of the driveway.

The posts are typically 4 1/2" and that is the widest part. If it was on the line which is never done anyway that means it would hang over on your side 2 1/4" which means by not having it on the line it will only be 2 1/4" more than if it was on the line.

So I'm calling complete bs on this for that reason alone.

I agree that this is crazy and they have no legal standing to prevent fence construction. Convince my wife that it’s worth it to call their bluff and we might get somewhere.

what do i do wrote:

a guy that installs fences wrote:

The posts are typically 4 1/2" and that is the widest part. If it was on the line which is never done anyway that means it would hang over on your side 2 1/4" which means by not having it on the line it will only be 2 1/4" more than if it was on the line.

So I'm calling complete bs on this for that reason alone.

I agree that this is crazy and they have no legal standing to prevent fence construction. Convince my wife that it’s worth it to call their bluff and we might get somewhere.

You must be replying to another post, because I have made no comment regarding your neighbor or any legalities.

What's all this talk of building a fence? Does it serve the same purpose as a wall? Cuz we all know that "walls don't work".

what do i do wrote:

Konfuzi.. wrote:

Have a survey done so the property line is unequivocal. Great fences(and green space) make great neighbors.

It’s been done. She still says she would sue to stop any fence construction. The properties are fairly tight and a fence would have to sit “on” the property line, rather than inside of it, due to the location of the driveway.

They can build almost any type of fence in like 2hrs. Assuming your front yard isn't abnormally long or something. Just find the best time--like 4am or a time of day when your neighbor usually leaves--and schedule it to be done then.

She's gonna sue? Gimme a break. And then what.. the district attorney is going to drive over with a restraining order and throw it at you? Doubt it.

Sorry man.. you're gonna have to wait this one out. Just ignore her as long as you can and eventually someone will move. Or not. I had an awful neighbor who was very similar. It was awkward for a long time and I debated moving, as I didn't like even standing in my yard, knowing he might walk outside at any minute. Anyways.. sorry man. I know the feeling.

what do i do wrote:

a guy that installs fences wrote:

The posts are typically 4 1/2" and that is the widest part. If it was on the line which is never done anyway that means it would hang over on your side 2 1/4" which means by not having it on the line it will only be 2 1/4" more than if it was on the line.

So I'm calling complete bs on this for that reason alone.

I agree that this is crazy and they have no legal standing to prevent fence construction. Convince my wife that it’s worth it to call their bluff and we might get somewhere.

You've peen prevented with several solutions and you've given a counter argument to each one. I'm not sure you actually own a house from what you've posted. Complete BS. For the reasons below:

1. The houses are so close together that you can't put the fence just inside the property line? - That would mean that you house is less than a foot from her house. I don't buy it. Most, if not all municipalities have set back requirements that wouldn't allow houses that close together. Also you've already stated that she places her garbage cans on the side of her house. So there's plenty of room for a fence. Also she would have to wheel her garbage can through her yard and through a portion of your yard to reach your driveway. Nobody would do that.

2. You've already said that her driveway is on the other side of her house. The driveway is typically next to the garage which is usually attached to the functioning portion of the house, mudroom, kitchen, etc... In order for her to use your driveway to wheel her garbage cans up and down, that would mean that she stores her garbage on the complete opposite side of the house than where her useful doors are located. So every time she takes her garbage to the can she must walk around her house to get to her garbage cans. Nobody would do that.

3. You said that you told her that you planned to build a fence, then she came to your door and screamed at you for 30 minutes. This makes no sense. You were face to face when you told her. She didn't scream at you then? She later came to your door? Why didn't she scream at you when you told her? Based on the picture that you painted of her she should have screamed at you then? Something doesn't add up. Also, nobody screams at anyone for 30 minutes. Do you realize how long 30 minutes is. The screamer would get tired the screamee would get tired. 30 minutes of screaming is damn near impossible. Nobody would do that.

4. You've also said that she walks around in your driveway. Again that would require her to walk through her yard then through your yard just to walk around in your driveway. Nobody would do that. Also you added walks around in it without adding detail. She's just walking circles in your driveway? Nobody would do that.

5. You claimed that she called the police. However, you didn't provide any details regarding the the police dispatch. There should have been a resolution to that part of your story. instead you just leave it hanging.

6. You've had a ridiculous amount of interaction with and know way too much about this person, given the circumstances. This is a huge tell.

7. You threw in several irrelevant details to stoke emotion (jewish, lesbian)

7/10, but kind of sloppy

Laughter is the best deterrent.