I am still in the dark about what you really mean by “gender identity.” Because throughout your post you never actually define what the word “gender” in the phrase “gender identity” means in your view.
You also conflate a lot of different things in ways that I think end up muddying the waters rather than making your points crystal clear.
You start off saying that gender identity is a core part of the human sense of self, which seems to be a tacit way of acknowledging that you see the human sense of self and gender identity as two distinct albeit sometimes related things.
But very quickly you start speaking of the human sense of self and gender identity as though they were one and the same, using the term “sense of self/gender identity” and then abandoning the “sense of self” part entirely and speaking solely of “gender identity.” Then you switch to speaking of behavior and the “outward expression of the gender self.” And finally, you speak of “a non conforming gender identity.”
But you never say exactly what the “gender” in the phrase “gender identity” means in your view.
My own understanding is that gender means the set of sexist stereotypes, sex roles and expectations associated with each of the two sexes in any given society that collectively constitute the norms of femininity and masculinity at present and historically or traditionally.
As far as I can figure it, gender identity in your view is a universally-held core component of the human sense of self or self-concept that’s based on, and built around, the set of sex stereotypes, roles and expectations for each of the two sexes considered normal and customary in the family and cultural milieu of one’s own upbringing and where one lives at present.
If that's not the case, please explain what I have gotten wrong.
BTW, I strongly agree with you that the human “sense of self is a real thing.”
I also very much agree that a person’s sense of self “deeply and profoundly informs how a person behaves, appears, interacts with other individuals and institutions and their general relationship to the outside world.”
I further strongly agree that sex stereotypes, roles and expectations are very real - and they are imposed on all of us in our formative years as well as later on, and we all have to deal with them to some extent as we go through life.
I just don’t think that everyone focuses so heavily on the sexist stereotypes, roles and expecations that collectively constitute gender, takes them so much to heart and sees them as of such enormous, overriding importance that these sexist steretoypes, roles and expectations are at the very core of every human being's fundamental sense of self the way you contend.
I believe most people have a definte awareness of their own sex, some more intensely than others - and for many of us, awareness of our own sex is a central component of our basic sense of self both generally and especially in specific situations and times/phases of life. But I don’t think being aware of one’s sex is the same as having a gender identity.
I have no problem recognizing that some people have a gender identity, and that their gender identity is at the core of their own sense of self, and it matters very much to them. But I have a problem with the notion that because some people have a gender identity, we all do.
I also have a problem with the view that because some people have a gender identity and their own personal gender identity really matters a great deal to them as individuals, then gender identity should be the main organizing principle or pillar that society is built around and laws and policies are based on.
I also disagree with the view that gender identity should supplant sex as the basis on which humans are categorized for sports participation, competition, rankings and records. And for purposes like health care, and the design and allocation of shared facilities outside the home such as toilets & washrooms, locker rooms, fitting & changing rooms, spas & bath houses, rape crisis centers, shelters, barracks, dorms rooms, bunk houses, hostels, hospitals, nursing homes, refugee camps and other places where people sleep, get undressed and are especially vulnerable to pervs and predators.