Parents - Do you have any advice for Employee 1.1 who just became a first-time Dad?

1. Turn off your TV - typically we don't let our daughter watch tv, but when we do turn it on, she gets a blank stare on her face, its like her brain has completely stopped developing, its disturbing.

2. Turn off your phone - there is nothing important on there.

3. if you see something that needs to be done (chores, diapers, meals, feeding, etc...), just do it. Don't require anyone to ask, or expect praise you for doing it.

4. keep running, its good for your sanity

5. in the remaining 3 minutes you have before bed, try to relax.

-Keep normal activity and noise levels while he sleeps so he learns to sleep anywhere/anytime.

-Keep up your normal hobbies, & interests when time permits and include youngun when you can.

-Limit iDevices, TV, etc

-Keep worry low - dont panic about things.

-Enjoy every little thing he does & laugh a lot.

truckdriver wrote:

-Keep normal activity and noise levels while he sleeps so he learns to sleep anywhere/anytime.

That's interesting.

agip wrote:

start the college fund, set up automatic monthly deposits. So it happens even if you forget.

put the baby on a regular schedule. Feed it the same time, change its clothes the same time, etc. Make a difference between day and night. babies need some stability and regularity.

let it roll around on the floor a lot - carrying a baby is fun and it feels right, but the critters need some time rolling around and developing some muscles.

lots of eye contact, reading to it and touching of course

As the parent of a toddler, this "schedule" advice isn't necessarily suited to a newborn. Babies nap so often that getting it to happen at the same time might not happen until they are a toddler, at which point a routine schedule becomes incredibly important.

People that stress the schedule might remember more of their routine with an older baby or toddler. The kid is going to have a lot more variation at first. For instance, feeding schedule will sometimes be dictated by the baby more than the clock.

HardSleeper wrote:

truckdriver wrote:

-Keep normal activity and noise levels while he sleeps so he learns to sleep anywhere/anytime.

That's interesting.

Also not necessarily true.

Buy a sound machine for the baby though. You can turn that up to a slightly higher than normal level when you are having company over after bedtime.

You made a huge mistake. Run away. Now.

Get a real job. You now have a kid to support.

I would say don't sleep train. Your kid will figure it out and babies who aren't sleep trained sleep longer at night. It might make the first few months a little rougher on you, but it seems as if it's better for junior in the long run.

Yes, keep running as was said and remember to do things for you and your wife, and to let her do things on her own--maybe even encourage her to.

You will be a different person with less sleep, so don't take frustration out on the kid--they have no idea what they're doing and are just trying to get your help/attention the few ways they know how.

Not getting frustrated with your child might make you frustrated with your spouse and vice versa--don't take it personally if your wife seems mean or not to care about you as much; there is a shift in priorities and a shift in hormones.

Also, as has been said, enjoy your kid--it's really amazing to watch them grow and let them do some things on their own, like tummy time and being mischievous. Reading to them is great and model well by not being on damn devices around them--they will sense what is important and giving them attention leads to healthy attachment.

Remember that your kid might be the most important thing in the world to you, but that a lot of other people won't give a shiz.

"Keep normal activity and noise levels while he sleeps so he learns to sleep anywhere/anytime."

Bring Back the 880 wrote:

Also not necessarily true.

Buy a sound machine for the baby though. You can turn that up to a slightly higher than normal level when you are having company over after bedtime.

Why?

It worked well for us & we actually made extra effort not to be quiet. As I finished the basement room firing .22 cal cement nails, our daughter slept in the room above. Also had a bulldozer leveling the yard right outside her bedroom her 1rst week of life. Similar stuff for the boy.

Get ready for sleep deprivation like you've never known before. Early on you will (should) be changing a ton of diapers at ALL hours. You might want to divide up the shifts so at least one of you can sleep. Keep the baby away from too many visitors until he is 6 weeks of age in order to limit the amount of germs he's exposed to. In the coming weeks your wife will need some down time (break form the baby) to prevent her from being emotionally overwhelmed. I never knew what unconditional love was until I became a father. Good luck and God Bless!

lipstick on a pig wrote:

Savor the wonder of having this new little human being in the house;

Don't freak over the way this new little human being has just forever changed the dynamics in all your other relationships;

Spend as much time with him without neglecting your wife;

Prepare to become very, very vigilant;

Read to him as much as possible;

Don't shirk from bathing him and changing his diaper;

Overall enjoy your son, because one day you'll look back and realize how fast he grew up and that it was all a blur.

This.

The longer I have been my children's dad, the more I've loved it and would do every single thing over again. Now that my oldest is six months from leaving home for college, I just can't believe it went so quickly--24 years' worth.

My best advice: talk with him as much as possible about dang near everything. Even when you think he thinks you're an idiot, he's listening.

Get Off My Lawn wrote:

Try to use common sense, which most parents used to have

That they picked-up with all that child development training parents got? Yeah, no.

Lots OTHER of good answers. The only thing to add to it you need to know what's going on in their head/body at any given age. It makes things so much easier to understand in the moment. There are plenty of books on the topic, unfortunately, not all are good.

Be aware of the difference between your feelings/memories you are bringing with you into the moment and theirs.

We raised our kid applying the theories of attachment parenting and it's worked out great. Having a teenager in the house isn't easy. Overall, the ideas from attachment parenting still really help all of us through the tough spots.

I'd add

1) take the baby outside every day for a good amount, unless it is actually dangerous to be outside. Let the baby get cold, hot, whatever. we're supposed to get hot, cold, wet, whatever. We are animals - we need nature, we need to be outside and uncomfortable at times. So many parents keep their kid inside all the time...drives me nuts.

2) don't be afraid of germs. kids need to get dirty, put their fingers in their mouths, etc. Read up on the dirty theory of health - basically it says kids these days are too clean so their immune systems don't get stressed...therefore it doesn't develop well, Could explain all these new allergy problems.

3) I'm a big fan of peace in a house. Outside...there will be noises and whatnot. In the house...keep it quiet. peaceful. Keep the radio off. Keep the TV off.

Permit barefoot running for the first few years.

My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me an email address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg me for forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia@gmail.com his website is prophetabuviasolutiontemple.webs.com

First two points are good. Last one indicates you have a small family.

A house with a family larger than Flagpole's "real man" maximum limit is noisy at times. And those are some of the best times.

Our children benefited from having a traditional upbringing with a stay at home mother. Of course that comes with personal sacrifice and choice. Like most things in life, you can't have it all without slack in other areas.

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

Get Off My Lawn wrote:

Try to use common sense, which most parents used to have

That they picked-up with all that child development training parents got? Yeah, no.

Lots OTHER of good answers. The only thing to add to it you need to know what's going on in their head/body at any given age. It makes things so much easier to understand in the moment. There are plenty of books on the topic, unfortunately, not all are good.

Be aware of the difference between your feelings/memories you are bringing with you into the moment and theirs.

We raised our kid applying the theories of attachment parenting and it's worked out great. Having a teenager in the house isn't easy. Overall, the ideas from attachment parenting still really help all of us through the tough spots.

Good for you. Not being sarcastic. It's nice to have a well adjusted family.

But you're arguing against common sense? Only the know it alls under 40 are that arrogant. One kid, huh? And now you've got the answers.

People didn't used to rely entirely on child rearing books. They had children younger than today. They probably spent time assisting raising siblings. There were certain conventions they followed because the neighbors did the same things as their parents. If you had a strong community, you raised your kids like your parents raised you.

When Americans started reading Dr. Spock, that's when the societal decay really began to roll. The soft snowflakes of today are the result. Indulgent parenting can go too far, and it's gone way too far by now.

Sleep deprivation is the worst thing about having a baby.

Step 1: Treat the baby like a relay baton and hand it off to the other parent a few nights per week so at least one parent can get a full night of sleep. This is easier if Mom pumps breast milk and you can feed from a bottle at night.

Step 2: After a few months move the baby to a crib in its own room. Let baby cry itself to sleep. Use a baby monitor. For the first 6 months baby will have to be fed at intervals overnight.

Step 3: Profit. Oh, wait... that's underpants gnomes. Kids are an expense forever, but we love them anyway.