Once I was running and some guy in his car thought he would be a big shot and yell obscene remarks at me to impress his girlfriend. He also decided it would be funny to throw empty soda cans at me and tell me to 'wear some shorts.' I decided I would be a big shot, too, so when he was waiting at a light, I jogged up to him and pissed on his car. He got out after about 5 sec of pissing, so I had to cork it and run.
He decided he wanted revenge and kept driving by me screaming at me, basically making circles around wherever I was going. Finally I got into a neighborhood and he got out of his car and started running at me. Although I knew I could outrun him, that wouldn't be much fun. I had picked up a lot of gravel earlier and I threw it in his face when he got close. As he bent down grabbing his face cause it hurt so much, I kicked him in the side of the head. His girlfriend was standing outside screaming, so I just jogged over to his car and drove away. I drove his car out to the middle of a highway, parked it there, and left the keys locked in the car. Then I finished pissing on the car, through the sunroof, in front of all the cars sitting behind me, angrily honking their horns. Unfortunately, one of the cars was a cop, who jumped out of his car and started running at me.
I quickly jumped off the car and ran towards a trail, and the cop kept running after me. I realized at this moment that the cop was really slow, so I decided to play with him. I thought he would turn around and go back to the car after a while, but he didn't. So I took him on a small half mile loop or so, and when I got back to the beginning of the path, I saw that traffic had started to go around the car I pissed in. I also realized the cop had left his keys in the ignition. So I hopped into the police car, and drove off.
Unfortunately, I didn't think about the fact that all police cars can be tracked by the police, so pretty soon I had cops on my tail, so I took them on a cross country chase, literally. I stopped by a local cross country course, hopped out of the car, and started running. At this point I was pretty tired, cause I had totalled about 12 miles at this point. Even so, I could easily outrun fat cops. Unfortunately, they decided that what I had done was enough, and one of them nailed me in the brain with a tranquilizer dart. I fell down, and as they surrounded me, I remember my last words were: "F*ck you." So at least I went out on a high note.
But I didn't really get punished that badly. I had to spend 2 years in jail, and pay like $20,000 in fines, but nothing major.