The reason I, Funny Cide, didn't win the belmont stakes and claim the triple crown was because my trainers thought it would be a good idea for me to do all my workouts with Tom McArdle. Well, they were great workouts, but he would outkick me every final furlong. (Tom converts all his mileage in furlongs. Well, wouldn't you know it, come race day I'd been pressing so hard in my workouts with Tom, I just didn't have anything left. I was a little disapointed, but Tom cheered me up by riding Empire Maker off a cliff.
After they went off the cliff, Tom jumped off and let Empire Maker fall the 37,000 feet to the base of the cliff. Tom had a parachute on, but he decided not to use it because he's that hardcore. Instead, he commendered a low flying navy helecopter that he happened to be falling by and flew himself to the safety of his fortress of solitude somewhere in the artic circle.