Relationships take work. It's entirely possible she sees herself growing and advancing in life and he is simply sitting on the sidelines. That can be a painful experience, particularly if you are young and realize that your partner has already peaked and isn't going to grow meaningfully in the next 50-70 years.
"For better or worse"
Not:
"Be better or else"
It is right there in the contract language that your spouse "staying the same/steady" is one of the better outcomes that you're agreeing to.
I don't disagree with you. The reality is that people tend to evolve over time -- particularly as they move out of their 20s and gain more confidence, responsibility, experience, etc. That can be hard on a marriage.
Probably a deadbeat dude. Marriages take work. So does keeping your spouse happy.
Sitting around with a beer on your gut while they do shuit ain't leading to a life of happiness. Just like real training, it takes work, every day. Gotta put in the family mileage.
Translation = she's cheating but didn't get caught, now wants to be with him
Likely the case. In either case, the woman is no longer sexually attracted to her husband. This might manifest in boredom. This didn't HAVE to happen, and can be reversed.
For the sake of the family and IMO, good human morals, the woman should have been direct to her husband what her feelings were a lot earlier before getting to this point. Without knowing more, I would say it was the husband's "fault" for not attracting his wife, and his wife's "fault" for not bringing up her feelings sooner (though I'd be there had been some warning signs).
Is your friend a runner? I have seen marriages disintegrate over that. She wants some date nights, romance, weekend getaways, and such. He wants to be asleep at 9:00PM very Friday and Saturday night because he's got "a big 5K" or a long run with the boys the next day.
Eventually, she does get bored with this and either asks for a divorce or starts boning some hobby lifter from the gym while her hobby jogger husband is chasing that elusive sub-18.
Is your friend a runner? I have seen marriages disintegrate over that. She wants some date nights, romance, weekend getaways, and such. He wants to be asleep at 9:00PM very Friday and Saturday night because he's got "a big 5K" or a long run with the boys the next day.
Eventually, she does get bored with this and either asks for a divorce or starts boning some hobby lifter from the gym while her hobby jogger husband is chasing that elusive sub-18.
Responders need to replace "getting bored" with "no longer sexually attracted", because that is what it is. In the example above, if she were sexually attracted to men because they chased sub 18 5ks, she wouldn't get bored by that lifestyle. Date nights, weekend getaways, all are useful opportunities to spark some sexual attraction, but you can't only rely on those opportunities. He should do what he can do on a daily basis to be sexually attractive to her (ie, creating a spark through communication, interactions, how he handles himself through all daily situations, not just on date nights).
Men have left women out of boredom for decades. Somehow it’s a story if a woman does that.
I am in my 60s and have not got married yet, although it is a goal and an aspiration. (I keep saying I'm going to get married because I have found the perfect girl. But what are my chances that she will keep me. Gee, and I used to be one of the best lookin' fellas. I will keep testing her until I know. That is what women do, they test the men. Why shouldn't men do the same.)
Men have left women out of boredom for decades. Somehow it’s a story if a woman does that.
I am in my 60s and have not got married yet, although it is a goal and an aspiration. (I keep saying I'm going to get married because I have found the perfect girl. But what are my chances that she will keep me. Gee, and I used to be one of the best lookin' fellas. I will keep testing her until I know. That is what women do, they test the men. Why shouldn't men do the same.)
I am the first on this thread to say feminism is the blame for most divorces.
You have been married for 27 years and brag about lying to your wife? That could easily make you as young as 47 and that is quite young indeed. So you are evil, where will that get you at the end of time? "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." (I admit to being a hypocrite but if I do not tell you that you are wrong I will burn in hell. But If you listen to me you will save yourself.)
I wish I was making this up but I’m not. My friend and wife have been married for 8 years with 2 kids. She recently filed for divorce and the reason was she’s bored. She said she’s gotten promoted since they got together and he’s not. She also said that she’s gotten better looks wise and he hasn’t. I read that 90% of divorces involving women with college degrees are started by women. Interesting
Sorry for your friend for being on the undesirable end of this and for the young kids, but wanting more excitement in a relationship is one of the most common reasons to end it. Unlike say countries in Asia where there is a lot of social and cultural pressure resisting divorce, marriage in America is much more fragile and divorce the norm because individual happiness takes precedence over making compromises in the best interests of the kids and likely for the individuals themselves in the long run.
Until your Asian bride realises that theres nothing to stop her getting divorced from the guy no-one in his own country wanted, and screw you not only for alimony but your house because they've had to uproot themselves and have no qualifications to earn a decent living in the US...
This is why you should wait to get married until your mid to late 30s. Getting married in your 20s will almost never work. You change as you get older. You meet new people. Your interests and attractions change. For instance, whether a women is on birth control or not, her sexual preferences change. Hormones are the driving factor for sex and attraction. Sex and attraction is purely a response to hormones. Your hormones change. Especially women’s hormones. This is why men are fine with the same women because men’s don’t fluctuate with the wind. Women’s change almost every few years based on their diet, stress, birth control, weather, and do on.
Are you a man? Or do you prefer to remain childless? Getting married in your mid to late thirties is a great way to find yourself visiting a fertility doctor.
As a woman, the best time to get married if you want multiple children is probably 27 to 30 - young enough to have time to reproduce (allow 2.25 years per child desired, 0.5 years to conceive, 0.75 years to gestate, and 1 year to breastfeed) but old enough to be somewhat clear about who you are and what you want.
As a man, it's OK to be a bit older. But not too much older. All manner of birth defects also go up with age of the male partner.
I am in my 60s and have not got married yet, although it is a goal and an aspiration. (I keep saying I'm going to get married because I have found the perfect girl. But what are my chances that she will keep me. Gee, and I used to be one of the best lookin' fellas. I will keep testing her until I know. That is what women do, they test the men. Why shouldn't men do the same.)
I am the first on this thread to say feminism is the blame for most divorces.
Or that feminism is what saved women from bad marriages...
Is it a thing now for people to get divorced because one person is bored of the other? Is that what you're asking? People have been getting divorced due to boredom since marriage began. If you think this is new, you must be really dim.
The divorce rate is actually at an all-time low. And the data says that women with college degrees are MORE LIKELY to get married, have long-lasting marriages, and have kids. So your radical islamic insinuation that women shouldn't be educated to preserve the sanctity of marriage is really, really dumb.
"About half of first marriages in the U.S. are likely to survive at least 20 years, according to government estimates. But for one demographic group, marriages last longer than most: College-educated women have an almost eight-in-ten chance of still being married after two decades. Researchers at the National Center for Health Statistics estimate that 78% of college-educated women who married for the first time between 2006 and 2010 could expect their marriages to last at least 20 years. But among women who have a high school education or less, the share is only 40%."
A woman leaving a man because she was "bored" is a lot less worse than a man leaving a woman because he was humping a 22 year old dental hygienist he met at the gym who had nicer boobies than his wife.
From what I have seen, women who leave men in a marriage tend to do so because they come to a realization that they did not really want the relationship in the first place. Women are socialized to believe that they have to be chosen by a man and are not supposed to initiate romantic relationships on their own. When biological clocks start ticking, women tend to settle for what they can get. When the excitement of a new relationship and the honeymoon period wears off, the relationship becomes dead even though there is no fighting and there are kids involved.
One of my wife's friends got divorced after being married for 10 years and having two kids. She just realized one day that she had no feelings for her husband and wanted out. They did not fight and both were doing well professionally (both are attorneys). She felt that she never really got to pick who she really wanted to be with and just ended up with her ex because they dated at a time when she was out of school and did not want to be alone.
