Continue making 400k+ in NYC or take remote job at 250k

Have you considered Connecticut? I'm on Zillow filtering by 4+ BD 2+ BA, 1/4 acre, up to $800k and I'm seeing options. You could follow the coast as far north as Norwalk and still be able to catch a Metro North train that's about 1 hr to Grand Central (depending if it's an express). Or if you'll only go into the office maybe twice per week you could do even further - Westport, Fairfield.

Hell if you're still considering that fully remote option I'd consider the shoreline around New Haven (Milford, Branford, Guilford, Madison). Halfway between NY and Boston. Nice shoreline towns where you can play on the water in the summertime. Hiking. Good schools depending on the town. Much more affordable than Westchester County or Fairfield County.

trolly man wrote:

Have you considered Connecticut? I'm on Zillow filtering by 4+ BD 2+ BA, 1/4 acre, up to $800k and I'm seeing options. You could follow the coast as far north as Norwalk and still be able to catch a Metro North train that's about 1 hr to Grand Central (depending if it's an express). Or if you'll only go into the office maybe twice per week you could do even further - Westport, Fairfield.

Hell if you're still considering that fully remote option I'd consider the shoreline around New Haven (Milford, Branford, Guilford, Madison). Halfway between NY and Boston. Nice shoreline towns where you can play on the water in the summertime. Hiking. Good schools depending on the town. Much more affordable than Westchester County or Fairfield County.

considering it yes

not the best commute and still pay a ton but is doable

Before you leave you want to help a fellow letsrunner out in getting a job? I am a recent grad in physics looking to pivot into finance. Unsure what company specifically you work for but would love to talk!

You can reach me at

.

Also - my two cents would be to move for your kids. Less about the move for them and more about them getting to spend more time with you as they grow up. Working remote would also drive me crazy, though, so I am not sure it is that simple. I am sure that you and your wife will make a great choice either way.

Would love to hear from you!

I second the move to New Hampshire!

My answer is not based on the salary at all, but at your comment that you need to get out of the house to stay sane.

You should work the job that allows you to stay sane.

On a side note, only move to Idaho if you are a racist a-hole. If not, I advise you don't move there.

If I were in your situation, I would take the new job and move to Gig Harbor (or wherever). I'm basing this on my experience over the last year: when they announced our jobs and kids' school would be fully remote last year (in the Boston area), we relocated to our vacation home in NH for the year. We worked remotely and kids went to in-person school there. It was great -- so nice to be in the mountains, skiing before work, etc. Really didn't miss the "amenities" of Boston all that much. Loved the different pace of life up there. We thought really hard about staying, and almost pulled the trigger, but it would have been somewhat complicated for us (e.g., possibly requiring at least one of us to eventually change jobs), and our school-aged kids ended up being split on wanting to stay (one really wanted to, one really wanted to return to the Boston area). I think if our kids had been united in wanting to stay in NH we would have figured out how to make it work. Now we are back and it's fine, but I'm spending a lot of time daydreaming about the mountains.

Based on your post, you don't have any of these complications -- your kids are young enough that they are not already attached to a home school/community (as ours were), your wife is at least potentially on board (obviously you need her buy-in), and you don't have any real job-related complications other than the $$ difference (and I really think $200-250k is enough, esp. in LCOL area). So bottom line, I think you've got a good window here to make a big move like this, and I'd go for it. NYC is a great city (I lived there for 5+ years early in my career), but I think there are plenty of better places to raise a family, and those golden handcuffs are only going to get tighter if you stay.

I hope you let us know what you end up doing.

If I was in your exact situation I’d move to a cheaper cost of living state with the $250k gross per year. Of course a big part of that depends on the wife’s opinion, which you did not give. If she wants out then time to go.

One question I have is whether the Wall Street firm has work from home? I work at a private equity firm in southern CA and we’re still working from home for the foreseeable future. Supposed to go back last month but they pushed it out to at least the rest of the year and possibly further.

Couple things to clarify:

Current job is investment banking which has a really intense work culture (hours wise). The stress has been so high the fast year there have been nights where I had legit chest pain, my face felt hot etc. I am however starting to get into a groove with seniority and trust - but doesn't preclude the fact its high stress.

My new job would be in a sort of different field and I would sort of take a step back in responsibility (my peers will all be like 10 years younger). Im in my 30s now so tired of "career pivoting" and losing seniority, which I had to do when I left the public/govt sector. But the hours would be less I presume. Recruiter also said my next promotion title would have me at 340k all in (might be able to get this in a 1 to 2 years?). Who knows if that's true....

I'm leaning new remote job - have some time to make my decision but that's my current thought.

If you're really making that kind of money, you probably don't need financial and lifestyle advice from the dumb@$$es on this website.

ilonggo wrote:

If you're really making that kind of money, you probably don't need financial and lifestyle advice from the dumb@$$es on this website.

There's surprisingly some wise people here.

I'm not claiming I'm not making great money, and I realize these are both great options to consider, but there are some legitimate concerns to consider (high stress and physical effects of current job, insane housing prices in NYC area, insane traffic and crappy roads in NYC area, isolation effects from fully remote work...)

Quality of life is more important than money. For some NYC is the place to be. Also, these days consider dangers of floods, fires etc. for any move to a new region.

Control of my time is more important than $$$ to me. I make enough, but more importantly I have control over what I do in my days.

This is one of the first posts with a poster making 300K+ that actually has the site giving good answers - bravo.

I couldn't agree more with the poster that stated you have one life. 250K in a LCOL gives you the time, energy, and resources to be the family man the NYC version of you dreams of.

Hard for me to imagine the 75 year old version of yourself is going to give a sh*t whether or not you're worth $3MM or $6MM. What your future self will care about is the time you spend with your family during these years that fly by far too quickly. Sure, NYC might allow you to retire a little earlier, but that is banking (pun intended) on growth/bonus opportunities that you know are volatile.

Two good choices, but I think there is a clear door that is open and calling your name. Just my $.02

Is the challenge of being fully remote the isolation from your colleagues or feeling stuck at home? Because your money could obviously go very far somewhere cheaper and then you could afford to set yourself up with a really nice workspace as well.

Companies that do fully remote should also be offering location-based pay, especially if they expect their employees to live near their offices in places with a high COL.

also, having live in NY during my 20s, nothing about raising kids in the city sounds nice—no matter how much money you have or country homes you can escape to. It's a high-stress place in like every way possible.

Real estate market in and around NYC is terrible right now. My sister bought up in Tarrytown about a year before the whole COVID thing. She got a decent 2,500 sq ft home for $800k. It was frumpy and needed updating, but was well kept and did not need anything major. At that time, they had about a dozen similar homes to chose from on the market. No bargains, but you could be picky.

Now, there is nothing on the market. Everything is either a 1,200 sq foot crapper on the market for $500k in a dumpy part of town or multimillion dollar estate. Stay away from NYC residential real estate.

The Seattle area is not good, but you can find something if you have a decent realtor who will work hard for you. Gig Harbor and the Tacoma area are pretty dumpy and the commute to Seattle is really long. If you are going to plant roots in Seattle, spend some money on a nice house in a decent area. Bainbridge Island is nice and quiet and a great place to raise kids. Decent sized homes in wooded neighborhoods for $900-$1.2 mil. Ferry commute to downtown is easy. Redmond is also a good suburb with lots for kids. Commute into Seattle can be gnarly if you go during rush hour. Similar housing stock, but more of an urban sprawl neighborhood.

Do you have family or close ties in other cities?

Do you really want to go to the office? If you get a nice house with more dedicated home office space you might like staying home. Snohomish County is great but that commute would get old even twice a week.

dopedtothegills13 wrote:

... Before anyone acts like that a bunch of money, just went to a bunch of open houses this weekend for homes in the 900 to million range in the nearby suburbs with nice school districts and the homes were absolute garbage (either completely outdated, next to a busy highway, or have only one bathroom upstairs etc.).

....

Thoughts?

If you are really making 450k like the title says, why are you looking at houses that only cost 900k? You could easily afford a house worth 2 - 5 million and continue to save a ton.

MatthewXCountry wrote:

If you are really making 450k like the title says, why are you looking at houses that only cost 900k? You could easily afford a house worth 2 - 5 million and continue to save a ton.

He mentioned in another post that he only wants a mortgage based on his base salary because a bonus can, by definition, not be paid.