Got smiled at on my run this morning, made me think...

Some people seem to know all of this intuitively but I cared more about school and sports and so mostly ignored 1, 2, and 4, until I had a wife to straighten me out on such things! Thinking back, I don't really know what my wife saw in me, other than that I was very attentive and sincere when courting her. Personality, loyalty, sincerity, honesty, and so on - all must count for something.

Were you looking her way prior to this? nice, but yeah it wouldn’t be if there were not something diametrically opposite to it that were the norm. This is why life needs things like running to make it tolerable. We have to push away the pain and mundanity.

I’m now in the back nine of my 20s. I can recall when people used to make fun of me, but back then I still got some scenarios like the one you brought up, it was like in your teens and first years of your twenties, you’re a kid, so people will mess with you, in good and bad ways. Nowadays as a grown-arse man it’s a rare thing for someone to come up and break the social norms.

I think covid has impacted social norms too, because even in 2019, I had several instances of social contact initiated by strangers, but since 2020, not much of anything.

This EXACT scenario happened to me yesterday. Very very cute girl, at least ten years younger. It happens to me a few times a year, once my tan is good and I run with my shirt off on a hot day (my face is average, but body is like a lean decathlete). Anyway, I can tell you one thing...girls will do this one-on-one in an isolated setting, but almost NEVER when around their girlfriends.

But then today I was stretching by a dock by this young dude, and two cute girls came up and landed, obviously friends with him and extremely attractive and friendly. Without any prompting on my part, they were asking about my running, travels and whatnot. Turns out they were just moved here (from a much friendlier town I am familiar with) and I showed them some drills I have been doing for knee strengthening, since they were snowboarder/soccer types.

I also had all sorts of other people initiate with me today; two Mexican immigrant couples openly impressed with my training (I had just finished some pull-ups), a house painter who was just really funny, another funny older lady who might have been tipsy, etc.. I think the warm weather and end of covid were part of all of it. Anyway it has been great and I am taking it as a sign from the Universe to dive into some audacious travel plans I am considering.

I have learned to roll with the ups and downs, and let the ups take hold a little and inspire you to be more socially confident.

less than a minute ago 08/15/2021 10:50pm CDT re: sad about being happy

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This EXACT scenario happened to me yesterday. Very very cute girl, at least ten years younger. It happens to me a few times a year, once my tan is good and I run with my shirt off on a hot day (my face is average, but body is like a lean decathlete). Anyway, I can tell you one thing...girls will do this one-on-one in an isolated setting, but almost NEVER when around their girlfriends.

But then today I was stretching by a dock by this young dude, and two cute girls came up and landed, obviously friends with him and extremely attractive and friendly. Without any prompting on my part, they were asking about my running, travels and whatnot. Turns out they were just moved here (from a much friendlier town I am familiar with) and I showed them some drills I have been doing for knee strengthening, since they were snowboarder/soccer types.

I also had all sorts of other people initiate with me today; two Mexican immigrant couples openly impressed with my training (I had just finished some pull-ups), a house painter who was just really funny, another funny older lady who might have been tipsy, etc.. I think the warm weather and end of covid were part of all of it. Anyway it has been great and I am taking it as a sign from the Universe to dive into some audacious travel plans I am considering.

I have learned to roll with the ups and downs, and let the ups take hold a little and inspire you to be more socially confident.

The girl was manic-depressive and was in a manic phase, that's all , don't over think it.

Just kidding. The point is you need to relax. Go out the door and think about how you could make someone's day too. Also write or at least think affirmations. You have to believe you are a good catch. Not like the chads but just a normal good catch like all the other ordinary dudes you see everywhere who found companionship.

I, sad about being happy and a good catch for the right girl .

He, sad about being happy and a good catch for the right girls.

Listen to that voice that talks back with all the reasons you aren't and beat it. You say you aren't handsome, confidence will raise you 5 points so you will be at least a 5. If you are running and hiking and stuff, that adds another. If you try to be the one that makes someone's day that adds more. Also become a fireman , or something like that.

Good luck , amazing women are coming your way.

aa aa aa dd wrote:

and now im depressed that i just wasted 80 seconds of my life reading this

Ahhh if that took you 80 seconds to read you have other things you should be depressed about.

I've thought about this a bit and I think there might just be a take-away from this experience worth considering.

Why did this attractive girl greet you so nicely? Why? Really think about it.

There's only one plausible answer,

She gave you such a cool welcome because she saw in you another being who could appreciate and relish the joys of being alone in nature, running under your own health and vigor, and finding enough beauty in that to go out of your way to do it.

Seriously, she is doing it and probably digging it, and then she sees somebody come out of nowhere who must be turned on to it, too. She says to herself, wow, how cool is that?!

So given that, what does this leave you with? Depression? I don't think so.

You have to see that her message is like a blessing. She is telling you this and you need to listen: don't be the pissant that sits and frets and second-guesses every little thing. Be in the moment. Run joyfully through nature and life and be thrilled with what you come upon - even if it is that ugly, awkward guy, because even the ugly, awkward guy has the wherewithal to know how these things are worth doing, and worth doing with passion.

Simply put, she was in the moment, doing a beautiful, joyous thing, and met what she felt must be a kindred spirit doing exactly the same. So, you need to share that spirit. Be what she saw.

That is the message. That is her gift to you.

really wrote:Some people seem to know all of this intuitively but I cared more about school and sports and so mostly ignored 1, 2, and 4, until I had a wife to straighten me out on such things! Thinking back, I don't really know what my wife saw in me, other than that I was very attentive and sincere when courting her. Personality, loyalty, sincerity, honesty, and so on - all must count for something.

Perhaps it was when you let it slip you had run a 3:58 mile in college, made $270K last year, own your own home, own a jag, Mercedes SUV, and a BMW, Chuck Norris asks YOU for advice on how to fight, and were personal friends of the Brojos!

GameStar wrote:

A wallet full of $20s or higher will usually get smiles from attractive women as well.

If $20s matter you must be under 30.

sad about being happy wrote:

Made me think...what's it like to be the kind of guy who gets regular attention from girls? Like the type of guy who goes for a run or even just walks down the street and gets greeted by pretty girls regularly? Like I'm realizing that for normal people who aren't awkward and ugly, the interaction I had this morning probably happens multiple times per day and they think nothing of it. What's it like to be that guy?

I know he already responded on this thread, but we really need a direct answer in these questions from Flagpole Willy.

How about that whole look, though not sure it still is the 'in' thing, with being unshaven, unbuttoned, shirt hanging out, baseball cap, frumpy hair. etc.?

I would imagine that is the kind of thing you're frowning upon, but if it is, it sure was the look for awhile, if not still.

Turn-off? Total "I don't think so!"?

This is mostly true, guys do the wolf whistling (still?)), and the "Well helllllloooooo there" kind of talk not often done by ladies.

But you triggered a memory...back around 1986 i was walking thru UCLA between terms, and two woman were on a bench talking with great animation. As i got near one looked up and without a break in conversation said "Whoooeeee, i wouldn't mind me gettin' some of thaaat". I burst out laughing in surprise and they laughed too, but mostly i just ducked my head aw shucks style and kept walking. Who knows what would have happened if i didn't have a friend to meet and instead stopped to talk?

Now i'm almost 60, and recently have been getting a lot of smiles and eye contact on the run/bike paths, which i mostly put down to relaxed covid restrictions and people so happy to see and talk to other people again, no matter how old. It's nice.

Maybe find a functional method to lose yourself and get out of your own head more.

Okay, posting anonymously,

This is similar to what I found, In college and HS being cute as a guy made a difference in being noticed, for sure, but it only got me so far. It was good for lightweight fooling around, but most of the time, even with good looks, i was alone and lonely. And yeah, I remember the compliments for life., but I'll spare you.

In that i am about same age as previous poster, I do get a few affirmations in one form or another. But if I really think about, it also causes more hassle than benefit, with unwanted attention. And trust me, I would really rather do without these. But maybe I would be getting these anyways even if I wasn't above avg. in looks and conditioning. Never thought about it too much.

Point being, it only gets you so far. And in some cases, it gets you further than you would like.

cute (guy) wrote:

Okay, posting anonymously,

This is similar to what I found, In college and HS...

I do get a few affirmations in one form or another. But if I really think about, it also causes more hassle than benefit, with unwanted attention. And trust me, I would really rather do without these....Point being, it only gets you so far. And in some cases, it gets you further than you would like.

Maybe more of an issue for introverts or those uninterested in hookups?

Some people need repeat encounters to feel comfortable. I've often run the same route and waved at the same people, conversations just seem to naturally start up. I hope the OP can do that if he sees the Smiling person again, while running , at a race or Starbucks, who knows.

+1

Catch the moment wrote:

Just enjoy the moments and next time be brave and just ask if it's okey to join her on her run.

You have nothing to lose. Can just be a yes or no. Nothing to be afraid of. Probably you will get a yes and get acquainted with her.

Yep, you should have asked her if you could run with her. Met my wife by opening a door for her to the PE building while she was returning a tennis racket. I asked her if she would like to play tennis sometime. Fast forward 32 yrs married and 7 kids. Be happy she smiled at you.

dfgh wrote:

Catch the moment wrote:

Just enjoy the moments and next time be brave and just ask if it's okey to join her on her run.

You have nothing to lose. Can just be a yes or no. Nothing to be afraid of. Probably you will get a yes and get acquainted with her.

Yep, you should have asked her if you could run with her. Met my wife by opening a door for her to the PE building while she was returning a tennis racket. I asked her if she would like to play tennis sometime. Fast forward 32 yrs married and 7 kids. Be happy she smiled at you.

Woman here...exasperated sigh...No, ffs, please don't stop her while she's running. Smile and wave back.