reader of things wrote:
The dad says it was academic and athletic stress:
http://nypost.com/2014/01/20/dad-track-star-killed-self-over-stress-from-upenn-workload/
Can't just be that. If you're just overwhelmed, you back off/transfer/drop out. Something else had to be going on.
Terrible tragedy for all involved. Seemed like a lovely young girl and this is no way her life should have ended.
The more I read the sadder I get.
I think many former ivy league runners can relate to the stress and pressure that can sometimes seem overwhelming. It's just so sad that no one could get to her in time. rest in peace.
Very sad. She was incredibly beautiful and it sounds like she was a big influence on those around her. RIP.
Jeff Wigand wrote:
reader of things wrote:The dad says it was academic and athletic stress:
http://nypost.com/2014/01/20/dad-track-star-killed-self-over-stress-from-upenn-workload/Can't just be that. If you're just overwhelmed, you back off/transfer/drop out. Something else had to be going on.
Terrible tragedy for all involved. Seemed like a lovely young girl and this is no way her life should have ended.
Oh yes it can be "just that". A lot of young people that age don't always think clearly and logically especially if they think their dream is slipping away right in front of them. They don't have the life experience and perception to know that things usually work for the better sooner or later. They go into panic mode and once that depression sets in it's a downward spiral that some cannot reverse. Nonetheless, a very sad story. Hopefully the family will recover without too much repercussion.
I agree w/ social worker. The father of the NJ girl was quoted as saying in one of the articles that things came so easy to her in high school, which proves that she wasn't equipped w/ the skills to cope w/ failure in college. Her reaction to her circumstances isn't as rare as one would think. Look up Kathy Ormsby, or She Was Once a Runner, or Lize Brittin, for proof. I'm sure there are others, I just can't think of them right now.
This story reminds me of my own freshman year when i hated college.
The strange thing here is when it happened. January in the northeast can be depressing environmentally but academically it's the easiest time of year.
Family friend says she got a 3.5 GPA
“She got a 3.5 her first semester, and I think just the high expectations that she put on herself was that that’s just not acceptable,”
600 attended the funeral - it was packed and others were turned away.
Very sad news, even more so given above post that said she had a fine GPA. I see the pressure of expectations young scholar athletes put on themselves everyday, but you never really think it will result in something as permanent as this. It's a tragic lesson to definitely be more cognizant in the future, because all too often people just advise kids not to quit and to suck it up. My condolences to her family and friends.
I know that this kind of thing happens a lot at elite colleges. MIT is renown for its suicides.
These kids are way too successful at such a young age, and most of that success comes with ease. When a little adversity does set in, they don't have the life experience to cope and overcome.
When I got a 3.5, I went out and hit the bong. Then I hit the books again, but in my own way.
I never got to be a neurosurgeon, but at least I'm still running and smiling and helping other people. Lighten up, kids. Push towards your dreams, but balance it with fun times too. You have DECADES ahead of you to make your life ring like a Liberty Bell!
Academic pressure at these schools is tremendous. My son was given exams on Sundays by professors who wanted to get more instruction time in the classroom. Increasingly a one dimensional experience with the focus on academics - athletes wind up bucking the system.
Wooow wrote:
To those who ask is the Ivy League education worth it....times like these make you really wonder if it is in the end. This story has spread and I hope others who have the thoughts Maddy had seek help.
IvyParent wrote:
Academic pressure at these schools is tremendous. My son was given exams on Sundays by professors who wanted to get more instruction time in the classroom. Increasingly a one dimensional experience with the focus on academics - athletes wind up bucking the system.
Wooow wrote:To those who ask is the Ivy League education worth it....times like these make you really wonder if it is in the end. This story has spread and I hope others who have the thoughts Maddy had seek help.
If that is happening, it is an illegal practice.
This is one of the saddest stories that I have heard about in a very long time - such a beautiful, talented young woman with such a bright future and so much to offer. And it certainly seemed like her parents were on board to help her make whatever changes she needed in order to be happy. It's so very sad that she couldn't get the help that she needed in time. RIP.
not to be stereotyping... but my experience is that a disproportionate number of runner girls are indeed perfectionist types. case in point right here.
I remember one of my girl friends on our D1 XC team bawling her eyes out for hours after she found out she got a 3.7 while I stared at her like she was a maniac....but looking at some admission stats for elite grad schools nowadays I've come to understand how crazy competitive this stuff is
She was seeing a therapist. I wonder if she was taking antidepressants? I know of several people who commit suicide while on antidepressants and I wonder if the drugs somehow contribute to the suicide. Maybe dosage or drug type are not right for that specific patient. Or maybe the suicide was going to happen, drugs or no drugs.
I see myself staring at the photo of a pretty teen girl.
How does she summon the courage, yes, courage to leap off a very very tall building? Depression does powerful things to one's perception of reality and their situation. She didn't cut herself, or try to overdose, either. It is crazy, I cannot imagine witnessing her behavior the moment she decided to jump. I can't wrap my head around it, and it hurts.
First time letsrun has really had a post that got to me in a real, serious way. Well, Mr. steel too.
I was a math tutor for a while in college and I ran into a few kids, mostly freshmen, who felt like the world was going to end if they didn't get an A. These were sometimes kids who got an A in every math class they ever took in H.S. and now they were barely passing general stats. The problem was they defined themselves as the smart kid who always got an A and that was what made them special. When you add to this all of the other pressures in being college freshmen, not even counting being an athlete at an Ivy, it can be a lot to handle.
I dealt with some of the pressures of being a freshman student/athlete, trying to please everyone. Unfortunately, I went the opposite direction and starting partying at lot and got myself in a little trouble. I got my act together the following year, but looking back, I needed that release. I say all of this not knowing the details of this young person's life...perhaps she was dealing with more than we know. The last thing I said to my kids when they left for college was don't forget to study and have fun and when I spoke to them on the phone I would always ask are they enjoying school.
No matter how her grades or her running was going, she had so much going for her and everything was going to be ok. I really wished she could have confided in someone, who could have simply told her that everything was going to be ok.
There was one article that mentioned that her father had wanted her to start seeing a therapist who could prescribe her antidepressants. The article made it sound as if she wasn't on them yet. I'm not sure though.
One thing that has struck me is her saying on her Twitter feed was:
"The more you laugh, the longer you live."
https://twitter.com/maddyHollers
I assume this was not changed after her suicide.
Whole thing is such a shame. Such a tragedy for the family.
I hate to bump this sad thread, but does anybody know if Blake Boldon is still the cross country and distance coach at Penn?