She is shoving you away. Would be better if she was direct, but the result is the same.
Read the question. That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you why does she want to date someone on a lower level? Or is she lying? Why lie? And why use this confusing lie?
He did answer the question.You just need to understand the situation more clearly. She may well mean that it's you who is not good enough for her but would sound a bit too snotty to say that outright. This actually answers most of your subsequent questions but you need to understand that the business of dating. Looking for potential partners is rife with misdirection, indirection, obfuscation, etc. Deniability relative to intent is really important. Not laying all your cards on the table is important. Keeping options open is important. Not looking like a female dog is important and so telling you that you're too good for her does not make her sound nearly as much an entitled female dog as telling you she find you about as appealing as a soggy pop tart and should just go away. On the slightly hopeful side of this for you, that she wants to let you off easily COULD mean that she likes you well enough that she doesn't want to reject you in a way that would make it likely you'd never speak to her again. She thinks enough of you to want to remain on good terms.
Read the question. That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you why does she want to date someone on a lower level? Or is she lying? Why lie? And why use this confusing lie?
He did answer the question.You just need to understand the situation more clearly. She may well mean that it's you who is not good enough for her but would sound a bit too snotty to say that outright. This actually answers most of your subsequent questions but you need to understand that the business of dating. Looking for potential partners is rife with misdirection, indirection, obfuscation, etc. Deniability relative to intent is really important. Not laying all your cards on the table is important. Keeping options open is important. Not looking like a female dog is important and so telling you that you're too good for her does not make her sound nearly as much an entitled female dog as telling you she find you about as appealing as a soggy pop tart and should just go away. On the slightly hopeful side of this for you, that she wants to let you off easily COULD mean that she likes you well enough that she doesn't want to reject you in a way that would make it likely you'd never speak to her again. She thinks enough of you to want to remain on good terms.
That's bullcrap.
If you like someone, then you stay in a relationship with them.
Read the question. That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you why does she want to date someone on a lower level? Or is she lying? Why lie? And why use this confusing lie?
He did answer the question.You just need to understand the situation more clearly. She may well mean that it's you who is not good enough for her but would sound a bit too snotty to say that outright. This actually answers most of your subsequent questions but you need to understand that the business of dating. Looking for potential partners is rife with misdirection, indirection, obfuscation, etc. Deniability relative to intent is really important. Not laying all your cards on the table is important. Keeping options open is important. Not looking like a female dog is important and so telling you that you're too good for her does not make her sound nearly as much an entitled female dog as telling you she find you about as appealing as a soggy pop tart and should just go away. On the slightly hopeful side of this for you, that she wants to let you off easily COULD mean that she likes you well enough that she doesn't want to reject you in a way that would make it likely you'd never speak to her again. She thinks enough of you to want to remain on good terms.
This sounds like you are saying that you think she legitimately believes she is too good for me, and maybe you believe she is too good for me too.
If you actually saw my life and my finances and my house and my wrapsheet, and you actually compared it her finances and housing and wrapsheet, then you wouldn't be sitting there saying that you think she is too good for me. It's like night and day dude. She said her old bf was the leader of a Mexican cartel.
I do think she realizes I've accomplished more. I'm still siding with the person who said she is doing this because she still has a desire to kiss on other people and never settle down. Which is sad. I was ready and willing to give her free love and free housing abd food for the rest of her life and take care of her and her son for the rest of their lives.
Several women have said this to me and used this reasoning to end the relationship.
What does it mean?
Is it reverse psychology?
Is she being honest? Just low self esteem? Even so, wouldn't she want to date up and not down?
I don't get it. I'm 38 btw. Engineer.
It's the same thing as them saying "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now." when what she really means is "I'm just not ready for a relationship with YOU, right now, and I will never be ready for a relationship with you. Someone better who I'm really into? I'm ready right now."
If they're into you, you won't have to guess at what they mean.
From this thread, it's quite easy to see what she means. Let me break this down for you:
You are someone who lacks basic social skills to the point that it's scary. She dated you because you seem nice on paper. But after a few dates/conversations that quite simply, you are lacking socially. And the most important/significant part? You give off stalker/crazy vibes so she wants to try to extricate herself as quietly and easily as possible.
After reading the responses, I think we can all gather 2 conclusions.
1. The op's gf is a liar, and for whatever reason, is lying to him about why she won't see him again.
2. Because she is a liar, we will never know the truth about what her issue with him actually is.
I think I speak for all of us when I say this is the whole problem with female liars. They cause confusion and leave ppl wondering what the truth is, when it would be incredibly easier and healthier for all parties involved if she would just be honest about her emotions.
Men cannot "take hints", and you know what else? Men shouldn't have to.
Why would you seek relationship advice on this site? She dumped you and is moving on or has already found somebody else. Her decision is not debatable and final. There is no negotiating. There is no "answer ". Let go and move on.
It means on paper you are what they are looking for in a man but they aren't actually attracted to you. They should like you, but don't.
OK. Legit response. Whose fault is that? That's her fault. If she SHOULD be doing something, then she needs to get in gear and start doing it.
Probably trolling but I'm bored so I'll continue to play. Nobody's fault. You just date women that for some reason don't want to continue dating you. Even though they should...on paper. What do you think it is about you that turns off women that should want to be with you.
OK. Legit response. Whose fault is that? That's her fault. If she SHOULD be doing something, then she needs to get in gear and start doing it.
Probably trolling but I'm bored so I'll continue to play. Nobody's fault. You just date women that for some reason don't want to continue dating you. Even though they should...on paper. What do you think it is about you that turns off women that should want to be with you.
Idk the answer to that. Again, if she was truthful, we wouldn't be playing this guessing game.
She comes from alot rougher and more impoverished and uneducated background than me. So there's still a chance that she wants someone that's down on her level, but yall are saying no that's not the case.
I know she was extremely offended when I bought her son a bicycle for his birthday.
It means you are boring. I know the girls liking bad guys cliche is pretty played out but it is actually true. Many women crave drama and danger whether they want to admit it or not. Dudes with steady jobs and stable lifestyles are nice to settle down with, but not very interesting to date and party with.
He did answer the question.You just need to understand the situation more clearly. She may well mean that it's you who is not good enough for her but would sound a bit too snotty to say that outright. This actually answers most of your subsequent questions but you need to understand that the business of dating. Looking for potential partners is rife with misdirection, indirection, obfuscation, etc. Deniability relative to intent is really important. Not laying all your cards on the table is important. Keeping options open is important. Not looking like a female dog is important and so telling you that you're too good for her does not make her sound nearly as much an entitled female dog as telling you she find you about as appealing as a soggy pop tart and should just go away. On the slightly hopeful side of this for you, that she wants to let you off easily COULD mean that she likes you well enough that she doesn't want to reject you in a way that would make it likely you'd never speak to her again. She thinks enough of you to want to remain on good terms.
That's bullcrap.
If you like someone, then you stay in a relationship with them.
Yes, if you like someone and you're in a relationship with them you stay in the relationship. But the OP is not in a relationship with the woman he's asking about. The reverse of your statement is that if you aren't in a relationship, aren't really keen on the idea of getting into one, but don't have the heart to be direct, you often come up with a reason to reject them that doesn't seem overly hurtful and often don't care how true or untrue that reason is.
Just come out with where you want to go with your troll.
Don't be such a kitten like the guy in your fantasy role play. The actual funny part about your troll (that you're trying to lead others to without just being a big enough troll to come out with it) is that your fictitious self is a stalker. I can only imagine the sad lonely loser you are in real life. That part of your fantasy is true though: you get rejected on the regular, so much so that now you get rejected in your fantasies by girls you deem inferior. End of the day? Sucks to be you.
It means you're dealing with younger women with high opinions of themselves at the very least. If they're still single when they're past 30, that tune will change.
That said, you're more than enough as is. We all are. A relationship not starting or not working out is too often framed as a lack on the part of a certain party. More often than not it's just a mismatch. This goes from men and women.
Not sure I understand your first paragraph.
Are you saying she is lying?
Why use THIS weird lie?
Are you saying women are incapable of actually being honest and telling a man the truth about why they don't like the man? They can't just say you are too hairy or too short or too muscular or too serious or too old-fashioned or something else?
No, they aren’t incapable of being honest. But many women fear a man’s reaction. Remember that statistically, the deadliest thing to a woman is a man.
It’s also possible she was just trying to be polite. As another poster said, it’s the equivalent of ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’
At any rate, it sounds like she is doing you a favor. Let them go. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, not with someone who is lackluster about you. Keep searching out there, you’ll find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
I think it means it's not a natural fit. and one or both of u has to change to make it work. and to her, it's simply not worth it to her at this time to change or change her expectations. change can be hard if person ain't ready to.