About to cross $1M in savings, what the hell should I do?

Is this on top of retirement plans? Getting 0% interest?

Not to make you feel bad, but $500k 9 years ago (I assume you had that much then?) at the 8% return we have had would have been $1mil today...

Donate it to the poor. Leave your worldly possessions behind.

You've already squandered a few hundred thousand dollars at least. You should really hire a financial advisor. You're not being frugal you're flushing money down the toilet.

Open brokerage put some in s and p 500

if you can handle marked risk

returns are consistent 8-9% averafe going back long time

Well, I won't shame you because you haven't invested in the stock market until now. SHAME! Ok, maybe a little bit. This first bit of advice is what I am advising YOU to do...it's not what I would do, but since you obviously have some sort of need to hold onto money that earns either nothing or next to nothing, here's what I think YOU should do (I'll tell you what I would do if I woke up in your situation in point #2).

1) THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO - Keep your nearly $1 million in your bank accounts. I'm not about to tell you to do something that will give you night sweats. Since you have your house paid for and your kids' college already handled, you should now actually invest some money. If you or your wife has a 401k available to you, contribute to that. If there's a company match, at least do enough to get that...that's free money. Now, unless you inherited money or got it in one fell swoop somehow, it seems you were able to save that money. Take the amount you were saving each year from your income, and now invest that into your 401k(s), an IRA(s), and then if there's money left over if you max out, open some non-retirement mutual funds and put money in there. You still have maybe 20 years or more to invest...and that would be wise.

2) THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WOKE UP IN YOUR SHOES - I would keep 3 YEARS of expenses liquid. This is easiest to do just as cash. I would put the rest in non-retirement mutual funds. I would then invest from that point on out of my income as I detailed above in #1 (401ks and IRAs).

3) Good job with the saving money, but make it right now and start investing.

Get a good financial advisor. I did that a few years ago. I wish I would have done that a bit earlier. Yes, you pay them but you don't have to worry about it anymore and they know way more about this than you ever will.

You should be generous with your wealth, you can receive I owe you's in return.

Give it to your kids they deserve a break

This is why you shouldn't get financial advice on an internet message board. Telling you to lock you money into CDs at a negative real rate or invest in the stock market which is still wildly overpriced as we sit in the early stages of a financial meltdown. Well done.

Finding a good one isn't always easy though. Yes, a good one is awesome. But a bad one stings. Broad diversification is best.

Leave it there for now. 5% interest risk free vs. what?

Correct. Quitting a job when you have children and $1M could result in poverty in a year if the market crashes.

When the market is cheap, a lump sum investment is statistically the best way to go.

First of all, make sure your wife's name is on your account. That increases the limit to 500K.

Don't be an idiot. Open another bank account, or two more if needed, to make sure that you don't exceed 500K at any one bank. Again, make sure both your names are on the accounts, or else don't exceed 250K.

Given you are in your early 40s, my recommendation would be to put most of it in an index fund and not touch it until you retire. Well, first fund 401K and Roth IRA (backdoor if necessary) every year, then put the rest in index funds, less what you need to hold in straight cash.

Even though we are likely to see a great decline in the market, the post is in his early 40s. By the time we retires in 20+ years, he'll be much better off for having invested now. He could try to time the market, but given his financial decisions to date (eg exceeding FDIC limits) I think that's too complex. If he invests now he'll see short-term losses but will greatly benefit in the long-term.

read a dave ramsey or a Ric Edelman book.

the short case is save 15% of your gross income every year into some kind of reasonable low cost diversified portfolio

keep 6 months base expenses in cash

don't panic when the value of your portfolio goes down. Wait it out.

It's not hard. Call Vanguard and tell them you have some money you want to invest. They'll walk you through the basics and how to pick a portfolio. Hard for most to go wrong with a target date fund from a major company like vanguard. You pick a year you might retire in, put all your investments into that fund and sit back and wait until that year. All done.

I would figure out what my emergency fund needs to be, and lump sum the rest into either index funds or rentals. Maybe go 50-50 on that.

a lump sum is always the way to go statistically because markets rise 2/3 of the time.

but dollar cost averaging is easier mentally. Whatever gets the job done.

Don't put all your money into the Sp500. that's one segment of the market only: big US companies. Be diversified, not so focused.

Look into municipal bonds. Tax free interest in most cases and you can find some 5%+ interest. It's also as close to risk free as you can get if you find some in a good municipality.