Mutual sexual connection is of course important, but the ‘dance’ doesn’t have to be perfect in the beginning. It takes time to learn someone’s spots, their quirks, their desires. And it takes time for you to explore yours, as well. And the beautiful thing is discovering those things together over time.
Let me ask a fundamental question. Why have sex at all before marriage? Is “sexual compatibility” some amorphous, undefinable quality that a couple either has or doesn’t? I would argue no. “Sexual compatibility” is nothing more than a man and a woman in a loving married relationship, committed to pleasing one another, who become better at that over time. There is no need to “test the waters” or “kick the tires.” If your wife loves you and you love her selflessly, you will learn to love one other physically.
Let me ask a fundamental question. Why have sex at all before marriage? Is “sexual compatibility” some amorphous, undefinable quality that a couple either has or doesn’t? I would argue no. “Sexual compatibility” is nothing more than a man and a woman in a loving married relationship, committed to pleasing one another, who become better at that over time. There is no need to “test the waters” or “kick the tires.” If your wife loves you and you love her selflessly, you will learn to love one other physically.
Because I would like to date someone longer than the second date before deciding to get married.
I am in my mid 30s and have started thinking seriously that I might like to settle down soon. I've just started seeing someone who I seem to have a lot of chemistry with, and the sex is good, but not awesome, more like 7/10. I can't help but compare her to my last ex who I thought at the time wasn't a great fit for me, but who I had absolutely fantastic sex with, like 10/10 every time. I think personality-wise I fit better with who I'm seeing now, but it's not really a huge difference. I've been thinking that if I was with my ex, I would never be seriously tempted to stray at all because the sex is better than basically everything I've ever had elsewhere. But I'm just some guy in his 30s who has never been married...
Let me ask a fundamental question. Why have sex at all before marriage? Is “sexual compatibility” some amorphous, undefinable quality that a couple either has or doesn’t? I would argue no. “Sexual compatibility” is nothing more than a man and a woman in a loving married relationship, committed to pleasing one another, who become better at that over time. There is no need to “test the waters” or “kick the tires.” If your wife loves you and you love her selflessly, you will learn to love one other physically.
Because I would like to date someone longer than the second date before deciding to get married.
Let me challenge your assumption. Where is it written that you must have sex after the second date? Or at all? Not saying it’s easy. But you can do whatever you want.
Oh forgot to say. Married man aged 35 here. Sex drive has slowly dropped each year since hitting puberty. it is still important but perhaps 1/10 as important as when I was 18. will it ever get to 1/100 as important as 18? Probably
I think you have low T. 32 here and still h*rny as ever. You should consider weight lighting or going to one of those low t doctors
I am in my mid 30s and have started thinking seriously that I might like to settle down soon. I've just started seeing someone who I seem to have a lot of chemistry with, and the sex is good, but not awesome, more like 7/10. I can't help but compare her to my last ex who I thought at the time wasn't a great fit for me, but who I had absolutely fantastic sex with, like 10/10 every time. I think personality-wise I fit better with who I'm seeing now, but it's not really a huge difference. I've been thinking that if I was with my ex, I would never be seriously tempted to stray at all because the sex is better than basically everything I've ever had elsewhere. But I'm just some guy in his 30s who has never been married...
Any thoughts on this?
This is more complicated than most think. Why was the first so much better? Your answer affects the advice.
Married in my 50’s. Drive is still firing at close to 100%. Being compatible sex partners is very important. You also need to find someone that you can laugh with and has similar interests. Do not downplay good sex although most friends my age have wives that rarely have sex with them.
Let me ask a fundamental question. Why have sex at all before marriage? Is “sexual compatibility” some amorphous, undefinable quality that a couple either has or doesn’t? I would argue no. “Sexual compatibility” is nothing more than a man and a woman in a loving married relationship, committed to pleasing one another, who become better at that over time. There is no need to “test the waters” or “kick the tires.” If your wife loves you and you love her selflessly, you will learn to love one other physically.
With the average age of marriage being over 30 now, the no sex before marriage advice no longer makes much sense. If all you do is masturbate, until 30, you'll have difficulty with sex no matter who it is with. You'll be so used to your hand and your own fantasties that normal humans won't live up to them.
I am in my mid 30s and have started thinking seriously that I might like to settle down soon. I've just started seeing someone who I seem to have a lot of chemistry with, and the sex is good, but not awesome, more like 7/10. I can't help but compare her to my last ex who I thought at the time wasn't a great fit for me, but who I had absolutely fantastic sex with, like 10/10 every time. I think personality-wise I fit better with who I'm seeing now, but it's not really a huge difference. I've been thinking that if I was with my ex, I would never be seriously tempted to stray at all because the sex is better than basically everything I've ever had elsewhere. But I'm just some guy in his 30s who has never been married...
Any thoughts on this?
You could have waited until marriage. Then you wouldn’t compare like that. Exactly what’s wrong with people.
I am in my mid 30s and have started thinking seriously that I might like to settle down soon. I've just started seeing someone who I seem to have a lot of chemistry with, and the sex is good, but not awesome, more like 7/10. I can't help but compare her to my last ex who I thought at the time wasn't a great fit for me, but who I had absolutely fantastic sex with, like 10/10 every time. I think personality-wise I fit better with who I'm seeing now, but it's not really a huge difference. I've been thinking that if I was with my ex, I would never be seriously tempted to stray at all because the sex is better than basically everything I've ever had elsewhere. But I'm just some guy in his 30s who has never been married...
Any thoughts on this?
Hello fellow Ranger, first of all Chicks refer to me Sex GOAT in my village so i hope you'd listen to what i have to say.
Always remember that "Sex is an Art". Both party need to truly master the hip movement and the sexual energy that the dragon and the peanut exudes. And many other small factors included such as touch, movement(correct speed/agility) and spine flexibility.
7/10 will turn into 13/10 if you can find out what's exactly lacking and let her know. Is she not fit enough? Is she moaning correctly? Is she using the right perfume? the right shampoo? etc..all these factors tally into the score points. And even you, you might be the reason why she's able to give only her 70%... do you smell good enough? do you have enough sexual veins in your rocket? etc (same above questions). Also one thing, try not to masturbate if you have a lady and if you really wanna enjoy maximal pleasure. Studies show the natural male testosterone peaks in 7 days and level thereafter.
Having said all that, however, i do think that every human body has several sexual soulmate that's just hard to come by, more like 1 in 30 (1 in 10 if you're lucky dude) you will find one that really matches with you sexually, without all the extra observation and corrections. So if you don't have the energy to test drive 30 more peanuts, i suggest you better stick to the 3rd para.
Thank you . Do send me 69 USD into my bitcoin if that helped. I'll provide my crypto ID if you affirm.
54, married for 27 yrs... ideally you are a perfect match, both sexually, and in other important areas, like the value of money, work, "life goals", religion, how to raise children.. but of all the things I listed, sex is probably the least important.
It's why guys can go get wild with a prostitute or side piece, but still very much love and care for their spouse. I think this is more of a male way of thinking than female, but certainly not exclusively so.
I am in my mid 30s and have started thinking seriously that I might like to settle down soon. I've just started seeing someone who I seem to have a lot of chemistry with, and the sex is good, but not awesome, more like 7/10. I can't help but compare her to my last ex who I thought at the time wasn't a great fit for me, but who I had absolutely fantastic sex with, like 10/10 every time. I think personality-wise I fit better with who I'm seeing now, but it's not really a huge difference. I've been thinking that if I was with my ex, I would never be seriously tempted to stray at all because the sex is better than basically everything I've ever had elsewhere. But I'm just some guy in his 30s who has never been married...
Any thoughts on this?
Big subject. A fertile field of study—and practice back in the Sixties and Seventies! Lots of “sex therapy” going around in many areas then, some bogus, some serious. Seriously, I think it’s a very important element of incipient relationships. Maybe it a feature of American culture but we seem to just throw the dice in relationships. especially in marrying someone who we do not fully know! And Sex Ed, although offered in many school districts, is still not fully approved, and often frowned on in the good old uptight USA. Please don’t challenge my patriotism!
Heres the thing, no matter how good the sex is when you're not married and with kids, you have no idea what it will be like after you are married and have kids. Theres just no way to predict it. So I personally as a married man with 2 kids, think that while it is important, the sex is going to change and it may be for the worse at times and better other times. It definitely is not THE most important thing. Just enjoy it. But worry about other aspects way more.