Too much alcohol and I know it.

Three years ago I was drinking too frequently. Although I acknowledged the problem similar to you I wasnt yet in control and I was caving in at night.

"I am quitting but not tonight..." - Monday

"I am quitting but not tonight..." - Tuesday

"I am quitting but not tonight..." - Wendesday

"It's Thursday, everybody drinks..."

"I will quit on Monday..." - Friday

This is similar to the cycle you are in. It is a concentric and equally hypnotic alcoholism hell.

You know youve got a problem but the addiction to alcohol isnt allowing you out of it.

I had a 717-day date with sobriety. I finally decided on New Year's day 2020 that this would be my last drink. I kept telling myself drinking is stupid and ruins your skin. I didnt have concrete sobriety goals, but rather went as long as I could without a drink.

When I came back to it almost two years later, my relationship with alcohol had changed drastically. My body didnt crave it. I dont have to drink every week. I still go months between and not by intention. Two to three beers is plenty on "special occasions". The biggest difference is I am the one in control now. I have an established ruleset as to when it is okay to drink and most occasions are planned in advance. Seldom has there been a spontaneous occasion (day drinking) but I remain flexible. The big question is have I earned it, the right to relax? Or do I have other obligations that require my attention?

TLdr; you need time away to rid the dependency. No one says you need to be an extreme tee totaler the rest of your life. But you need to set up better boundaries and rulesets so that youre the one in control because now youre not.

Thank you to all for the helpful replies. To the one poster, I can assure you that I am not a troll. My wife knows that I am very aware of my problem and there's not much she can say to me so just lets it be. I have put together some 30 day streaks in the past (mostly ahead of a big race) but it's been this way for years. I think the isolating nature of working from home (even since before the pandemic) has really taken a toll on my mental health. I recently started to see a therapist as well.

I have read a lot of the quit lit books multiple times (This Naked Mind, Easy Way to Quit, etc), listened to podcasts while running, been on reddit but nothing seems to stick with me. I try not to keep it in the house but end up at the store buying it anyway. And yes, I know it's horrible for my health (which I get checked every year) but yet I continue. I do like the NA beers as well and have them in the house, I will start with them today if I need a replacement tonight.

I'm going to take it one day at a time obviously but hopefully I can start stacking some days together with today being day 1. I will update the thread with my progress but it is nice to see that I'm not alone and like seeing what has worked for others.

I'm teetotal, have never drunk and the idea of drinking 2 bottles of wine per night is insane. How many ml?

Definitely not alone, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea in the future to attend some meetings. I’ve had a similar couple days to you probably. Yesterday was my first day completely sober in several months, although my main problem right now is with weed. I looked up marijuana support groups and just kind of broke down.

Later today, you’re definitely going to want to drink. Every logical force in your being will work to justify it. The addicts brain is a powerful force. My therapist has told me that the anxiety you get that makes you feel like drinking will pass. I know it’s a little harder chemically to stop drinking. The urges will be strong, and maybe they won’t pass in a day, but they will pass. Good luck man and be strong

I'm in a similar boat where from an academic/objective point of view I would prefer to drink a lot less, but find myself reaching for the booze 5 or 6 days a week anyway. The best way I've found to cut back is to shoot for at least 1 day a week with no booze. Usually I can get 2 and sometimes even 3 dry days, but life has been stressful lately (work BS and a semi-colicky baby) and I will fully admit I use alcohol to cope. I also can almost always cut myself off at 3 beers, and I don't keep liquor in the house simply because it makes binging way too easy. So I guess what I'm saying is maybe a harm-reduction approach might work better for you than shooting for complete abstinence.

Another option to AA is Smart Recovery. I believe they've started doing in-person meetings again, although I've only done their online meetings. It didn't work for me, but I know that it's helped a lot of people with addiction.

Cutting back, or attempting to reduce my consumption also failed spectacularly for me. Only when I hit "rock bottom" did I realize that I simply could not drink a drop of alcohol ever again. I can assure you that you do not want to hit rock bottom. I was also on (and continue to take) Naltrexone, which will help towards alleviating the physical withdrawal.

I wish you well. Addiction is horrible.

I discovered I mostly drink alcohol during the week because I get tired of just drinking water. Hot tea in the evening has been a game changer.

I've gone through periods where I drink too much during the week.

My thing has always been whisky and Tequila. That is where I have to watch myself. Not huge on wine or beer.

I can drink 3-4 glasses of whisky quite easily. 3-4 days a bottle could be gone. Never had issues with being hungover or anything. Just realized that is just WAY too much and not good for long term health. I eat health and I am super fit, I don't want to be undoing it with booze.

Good rule I have is no liquor during the week. I have a glass or two of wine a night during the week, or a beer instead. Recently the seltzers I've enjoyed maybe two a night, those are good after a run.

I just cannot drink the amount of wine or beer OP has mentioned. But whisky goes down easily for me and I need to watch it. I can get carried away making dinner and blow through 2-3 glasses.

Another road block I have used is only drinking liquor or cocktails only if I go out on the weekends with my wife. So if we head out to a bar or dinner for a date I'll partake In drinking the gods nectar.

Make of it what you will but I adopted a European attitude about beer and wine: part of a lifestyle.
Still. Upper 80s!

OP, it sounds like you need to shake things up. I used to avoid drinking from Sunday through Friday and then indulge a bit on Friday and Saturday nights. Not binge, but a few IPAs or a bottle of wine. It was a good schedule. Once the pandemic hit, everything seemed to change and it has been hard to switch back to the old schedule. I still have friends and neighbors that want to keep up the pandemic tradition of meeting outside for a beer or 3 a few nights a week and I have politely nipped that in the bud.

I find that if I can just avoid drinking from like 6-8 in the evening, I don't even want to crack a beer. So I do something during that time. If I have already run, I may go lift, or take a walk with my wife/kids, or just keep working. I do get that feeling that I need to switch from work mode to chill mode and the drink is a very tempting tool for that switch.

If you think that you actually have a problem with alcohol that is more serious than "wanting" a drink, this advice obviously does not apply. But my guess is that the pandemic ushered in some undesirable habits that you need to break. It can be hard. My wife has a glass of wine every night and that can be tempting to see if I am stressed with work and just want to relax.

I have not tried the NA beers, but I do often drink Kombucha at night. It has a more "adult" taste and I can pour it in a pint glass. As stupid and funny as that sounds, the process of pulling out a pint glass and filling it with something that is not water kind of kicks the temptation.

I have often thought that I would be a good candidate for gummies/edibles. Never tried them, though. What is the deal with Kava? Someone mentioned it above and I have heard someone say that before (maybe on here)? Is there a specific type? Does it really work?

Good luck, OP. Sounds like you will be fine. Just make a rule and stick to it.

I am also taking Naltrexone and am following The Sinclair Method, and like you it is easier for me to have none than 2. Unfortunately I am finding that I can simply drink right through the meds, it's basically ingrained in me at this point as a habit. I've been on it for 7 months and had hoped for better results by now. I am also thinking about upping my dosage to 75mg from 50mg and am definitely going to switch up my evening routine--the good news is that my kids are now at ages where on most weeknights they will have sports so that should be helpful to get me going. Good luck to everyone who is posting in this thread!

There is a lot of help available for people with drinking problems. You gotta figure out what is driving your self-defeating behavior. Understand that if you have conditioned yourself to drink for a very long time, it's unlikely you will just be able to think yourself out of this problem or will it away. Just like conditioning yourself was repeated action, you must start making intentional daily actions to overcome this amount of conditioning.

Set an intention every morning. Call your friends for support when you are struggling.

Or just do it the easy way and go to AA. I say it's the easy way because the amount of support you will get is so much more effective than trying to do this alone or without the aid of people fighting the same fight. Do yourself a favor and at least try one meeting and see if you relate.

You are not as good as you think you are. take a harder look.

I will also plug the NA beers. There are times when I want a beer, but know I shouldn't for one reason or another (or many reasons).

If you think about it, the best part about drinking a beer/wine/liquor really is the first sip, when you feel the stress/anxiety melt away. After that, its still good, but just not as good. Now consider this - during this time, you actually don't feel the effects of alcohol at all, its just the ritual that feels good. If you have a garmin, check out the stress measurements after you start drinking - they are sky high. The alcohol isn't alleviating stress at all, its actually the cause of it. Ridiculous when you really think about it.

Here's what I do - I'll grab an NA beer, pour it into a pint class, and pound it down, just like I would if I were deliberately trying to get drunk. The ritual is exactly the same. That way, you get the effects of that first sip, but nothing else after that. If that doesn't work, do it again, and again if needed. Don't feel guilty about it at all, worst case scenario you drank a lot of empty calories, which you would have done anyway. Eventually the craving will subside, or you will get too full to keep going. Usually I'll get through 3 and I don't want anymore.

If you are just trying to moderate, you can try mixing in a NA beer every other or every 3rd beer. So one 7% ipa becomes two 3.5% ipas. you can keep the volume of beer the same, but the overall alcohol is cut in half. Not bad.

Anyway, just some stuff that has been helpful for me. Good luck.

Either you want to stop drinking too much or you don’t. It’s that simple. There are no “tricks”. You will find a way to do what you want to do.

When you open a beer or pop the cork on a bottle of wine walk over to the sink and dump it down the drain.

Use 1000mg NAC in the morning fasted pre run. It will help to clean up your liver function and there's promising data regarding its application for addiction.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

N-acetylcysteine: A potential treatment for substance use disorders

Link:www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5...

It would obviously be better to drop the alcohol cold turkey but if you can't try to limit yourself and slowly ween off. Best of luck

This forum really is full of middle aged men! Knew it!