This sounds like my wife in some ways. It has been a large area of contention and I wish I married someone who better matched my work ethic. It’s not a red flag as much as it a recurring issue and I would recommend looking for someone with a similar drive and mindset. It is also good to know if she just doesn’t like corporate work but loves home work (cleaning/cooking/decorating/crafting/volunteering) or just refuses all work.
The contentions for me are as follows: You want to work because you like working but she wants someone to hang out with. So either you give up your career/business/hobby to hang out with her or she feels like you don’t want to be around her. If she isn’t the loyal type she may begin to find someone who does want to hang out with her. Like straight up my wife feels neglected if I work more than about 30 hours a week.
The other issue, especially since she will seem lazy to you will come with money. You are the one working hard and she wants to spend the money you earn on fun while you want to spend it on _fill_in_the_blank. And it begins to feel like you are working to support her fun but not yours. It has been very demotivating for me at times. Especially since she is a stay at home mom but still expects me to do most of of the housework.
Seeking fun is for children, addicts and liberals. Competent, mature adults take care of business and strive to support their families, friends, colleagues and communities.
Conservatives prefer one income families, genius. Two income families, when one income would suffice, is more favored by those liberals you're complaining about.
"[S]he hates graduate school and has no intention of using her degree" and "she does not like working and wants to work as little as possible in life."
But I'm sure she is more than willing to sell her vote to Biden for $10K.
"[S]he hates graduate school and has no intention of using her degree" and "she does not like working and wants to work as little as possible in life."
But I'm sure she is more than willing to sell her vote to Biden for $10K.
Run fast, Run far.
Not to get political, but yeah. She is about as blue/lefty as it gets. I myself am hard to categorize and hold stances on both sides of the spectrum depending on the issue, but it is pretty annoying and irritating to me when someone is both a) passionate about socialism and b) someone who doesn't want to work at all. Blows my mind people can be so blind/selfish/self-entitled.
She is genuinely a really good person... I'm just not sure we are compatible long term or as life partners. I don't think I could really see someone with that mindset as a true "life-partner" or teammate. ...Thinking...
"[S]he hates graduate school and has no intention of using her degree" and "she does not like working and wants to work as little as possible in life."
But I'm sure she is more than willing to sell her vote to Biden for $10K.
Run fast, Run far.
Not to get political, but yeah. She is about as blue/lefty as it gets. I myself am hard to categorize and hold stances on both sides of the spectrum depending on the issue, but it is pretty annoying and irritating to me when someone is both a) passionate about socialism and b) someone who doesn't want to work at all. Blows my mind people can be so blind/selfish/self-entitled.
She is genuinely a really good person... I'm just not sure we are compatible long term or as life partners. I don't think I could really see someone with that mindset as a true "life-partner" or teammate. ...Thinking...
That sounds tough. Is she interested in doing domestic stuff and raising children or does she just want to "have fun"? I think the poster that said she might get bored and cheat if she's just looking to "have fun" is not far off the mark.
step 2: put on a fake beard to make you look old and experienced. fake your resume and get a ton of clients. charge $1250 an hour to make yourself look like you're a top level lawyer.
step 3: drag out the cases for as many years as possible to maximize your profits against your client who thinks you have ethics (nothing controversial here. all lawyers do this)
step 4: win or lose case, doesn't matter
step 5: you have millions of dollars
step 6: buy a bunch of houses and apartments and rent them out
a) passionate about socialism and b) someone who doesn't want to work at all. Blows my mind people can be so blind/selfish/self-entitled.
Look into Karl Marx, man invented socialism/communism as a way of not working. Every socialist imagines themselves getting the "intellectual" jobs of the commie pigs in Animal Farm, but don't realize that they'd almost certainly be one of the other animals. Anyway though, work sucks, that's why they have to pay you to do it, so she's not wrong.
Seeking fun is for children, addicts and liberals. Competent, mature adults take care of business and strive to support their families, friends, colleagues and communities.
Conservatives prefer one income families, genius. Two income families, when one income would suffice, is more favored by those liberals you're complaining about.
That conservative stereotype is so old and outdated, I don't think I've heard it in 20 years.
The OP has admitted what I predicted -- she is a liberal. Why don't you give the OP your opinion as to whether he's going to find long term happiness with the No-Work-All-Fun woman with the modern liberal attitude to life in America?
OP, she’s going to end up being a stay at home mom. So who cares. How’s the sex life? Is fun going out drinking and clubbing at 30 or doing age appropriate “fun”?
OP, it can work or fail many ways. There are so many failures in marriages that have elements such as those you described that people will come forward and say trust me, it won't work. There' also marriages that have worked very well with elements you described. I am no longer young, but others have more years and wisdom. Still, I was first married more than 40 years ago and from what I've seen in many lives is that the first one to give up is a marriage weakener, as giving up tends to bring more pressure on the other person and limits the joint potential of the two. Paid work is only one part of life. School is only one part of life. Sports is only one part of life. Even so, a kid who gives up in school is less likely to do well in the next phase of life than one who doesn't. An athlete who gives up in sports is less likely to do well in the next phase of life. An adult who gives up at work is less likely to do well in the next phase of life. Exceptions about, but giving up is the path to less likely follow through when needed (baby crying, kid misbehaving, teen facing life challenges, you become unemployed, you become disabled, you get health issues). Is any good you do expected and any good she has to do not done unless its "fun?" Maybe, but that's the question. Does it all fall apart if you cannot do your maximium, because her lane has no maximum?
Might be "fun" for you, if life is all about "fun" to find someone who contributes relentlessly however needed and then you both get to enjoy that protection and safety and not just here. She seems to be setting up a heads I win and tails you lose scenario. Many women are not like that and give from the heart and with effort to back that up. As long as you are not the kind of guy who would take advantage of such a woman, find one and I hope you are not in the presence of a woman who would take advantage of guy who would do anything for her and does, when she does no such thing, except being fun in leisure time.