Foods that produce the most offensive farts?

This thread is just another example of the mods leaving up liberal threads, while deleting conservative ones.

My wife and kids fart like Clydesdales when they eat anything with white beans.

This thread is worthless without audio clips.

William J. Le Petomane wrote:

This thread is worthless without audio clips.

One Christmas, my friend's family received a fruit basket with giant pears.

I ate one and proceeded to launch Fat Man, Little Boy and then some in my friend's basement dump. It must be noted I was a guest at this was not my house and I would never crap at someone else's house unless I absolutely had to out of politeness. The farts were SUPER aggressive sort of like a growling cheetah, mountain lion or leopard and they f-ing STUNK!

You could hear the flapping in my farts

You fart more when running than when at rest as the act of running increases peristalsis and shakes things up releasing gas.

Farts are understood and accepted by runners worldwide. You can run with diverse groups of runners anywhere and, although you may not know their language, every runner will laugh when another runner farts. Farting while running in a group is more socially acceptable than farting in other situations, as runners are always moving into fresher air reducing the time exposed to any fart.

Most farting occurs at the start of runs. An advantage of being fast or starting fast in races is that you will be ahead of most at the start and will not have to inhale or smell all the farts from the pack.

Farting is a bipartisan issue. Everyone farts. Both liberals and conservatives fart. I have noticed that lately some conservatives especially have really foul vile gases coming out both ends of their tube.

Most farts are due to gases produced by gut bacteria when they break down food your body can't digest. Incomplete food digestion can occur for a number of reasons.

Humans do not produce digestive enzymes that are able break down parts of certain foods, and thus when those foods are consumed gut bacteria feast on them and produce fart producing gas. Beans are a famous fart producer. There are 2 sugars in most beans that humans can't digest, so gas is inevitable with bean eating.

If you eat a high volume of food, and you have high intestinal motility, that food does not have a chance to be fully digested and absorbed by your body and thus the bacteria feast on it. Runners generally have high intestinal motility (running increases peristalsis) and running a lot of miles makes one hungry resulting in the frequent consumption of lots of food.

if you are running a lot and/or harder (two a days, long runs, at higher intensities, racing etc.) your digestive system will shut down during those efforts. Your body will be focusing on running, not secreting enzymes and digesting food, So you may not be digesting and absorbing food as well during those times, leaving more undigested food for bacteria to feast on and thus produce relatively more fart gas.

I find the smelliest farts are those that come from foods high in Sulphur. Foods such as cabbage, broccoli, eggs, onions, beef have high sulphur content. Eat too much of these foods, at the wrong time, and you will produce deadly sulphur farts.

The relative types and quantities of intestinal bacteria present continuously fluctuates. Eat a lot of beans one day and the gas producing bacteria that thrive on those beans will increase accordingly. Eat lots of beans three days in a row and you and your bacteria will produce relatively more smelly farts on the third day than the first,

Hotdog Smoothie wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

Sweet potatoes make YOU fart a lot because you personally can not break down Mannitol which is abundant in sweet potatoes. That is not an issue with most people.

No particular food does that to me that I am aware of.

Ur autism’s acting up again

Nope. Don't have autism. Don't have any symptoms of autism at all. No autism for me.

empl0ymentr0cks wrote:

Hotdog Smoothie wrote:

Ur autism’s acting up again

CORRECT!

INCORRECT!

Eat a few boiled eggs and down a beer, then go on a road trip with your friends. They'll leave you at the first rest stop, possibly just dump you on the side of the road.

Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. In some state, you have to pull environmental permits for temporary emissions events before you can eat one.

kim chee

no contest.

Impressive discourse! Did you major in flatulence?

Impressive discourse! Did you major in flatulence?

Time to add another to the list - pesto sauce. One of my fav pasta sauces, but the subsequent farting is just part of it.

Seriously mate? wrote:

Jerusalem artichokes and it's not even CLOSE. There's a reason they refer to them as "Jerusalem Fartichokes."

+1. The only reason this isn't everyone's answer is because most people have never eaten them. It is too bad because they are super easy to grow and high in iron for us anemic runners.