My friend is 28 years old and still acts like a teenager... Doesn't seem to be maturing at all...

You don't do anything about her. You can't change or fix her. Frankly you sound really uptight. I've never cared what jobs my friends do. Someone isn't immature because they're not money obsessed. Also lol on the drinking. I used to work at a fancy, high end country club. I regularly saw business executives get drunk and fall out of their golf carts from drinking too much. You're pretty out of touch if you think getting drunk is limited to immature, unsuccessful people. The animal thing is stupid, I'll give you that.

Anyway like I said you won't change her. Either accept her how she is or stop talking to her.

King Joe wrote:

We were truly great friends but always very different people, so even when we were hanging out a lot and getting naked together, we were never a couple.

You guys just got naked and hung out?

[quote]King Joe wrote:

I have female friend who I used to be intimate with. We were truly great friends but always very different people, so even when we were hanging out a lot and getting naked together, we were never a couple.

Her dad abandoned their family when she was 13 and has had basically no contact with them since. I know that has messed her development up some. I tried to kind of fill that role for her for years (I'm 33 and have always been told I'm very mature for my age besides), but it didn't really seem to do any substantial good.

So you were intimate with her, and also tried to fill a fatherly role to her? I think you may have some maturity to gain also. I think relationship wise you are incredibly immature yourself. Let her have fun if she's not hurting herself or anyone else let her be. I find those that try and judge or usually part of the problem.

King Joe wrote:

I have female friend who I used to be intimate with.

…

What should I do? Besides cut her out of my life? Is there anything that can be done with these types? People who remain psychological children well into adulthood? What even are you supposed to do with someone like this? Feeling kind of desperate… Would appreciate some input.

To answer your question, stop being judgmental about an adult person you don’t control and for whom you are not responsible. Other than that, you are “supposed to do” nothing. I didn’t see anything in the post warranting cutting her out of your life, but that’s always your choice.

[quote]King Joe wrote:

I have female friend who I used to be intimate with. We were truly great friends but always very different people, so even when we were hanging out a lot and getting naked together, we were never a couple.

How were they a great friend in the past? Did they provide you highly critical advice about how you were lacking in pretty much every aspect of you life? If not, perhaps reconsider your approach; unless you don't want to be (just) friends.

Anyway, I distanced myself from her earlier this year after getting pretty frustrated with her lack of maturation and psychological development. She is 28 years old now and still acts like some stupid 19 year old who just wants to party and have fun and never apply herself or anything.

You sound like a cold father who doesn't approve of their child's friends and doesn't want anything to do with their child unless they are receiving high grades or are set to have a high paying "serious" profession.

Still thinks it's funny to get shatfaced drunk and hangs out with people in their early 20s.

That's because it is fun to get shatfaced drunk and hang out with people in their 20's.

I don't really know what to do about her. She has been an incredible friend to me, but even after trying to have difficult conversations with her about this a couple times, nothing seems to be changing at all, to the point it's starting to get kind of ridiculous in my opinion.

I'm confused why you care so much about her. Do you love her? Do you have a savior complex? You don't want to be someone that only has people in your life you can control. Friends and loved ones are not meant to do everything we think they should do just because "we know best."

You say you have always been told you are mature for your age. I have heard similar things about people that simply are too serious, highly judgemental of others, and don't know how to have fun and relax.

I think the mature thing to do is to crowdsource the situation on LRC instead of talking directly to her about your concerns. This really shows how mature you are & how immature she is. Keep her ego in check. I think you have everything figured out from this situation.

Please listen to the song "Prince of the Punks" by the Kinks. "He's much too old at 28 but he thinks he's 17. He thinks he's a stud but I think he looks more like a queen." I guess it applies to females who don't know when to grow up, too.

Continue to be her friend and stop trying to mold her. Would she cut you off as a friend? If her friendship is loyal to you. Then be there for her. You still have your life. Only she can make changes for herself when she wants too. She's your friend not your daughter. Just be there for her. Having you in her presence is probably keeping her from doing something detrimental to herself albeit she's acting immature.

This guy is the pretend "nice" guy that just wants to fkkk and control her. She's out of your league bro. Please let us fun guys handle her.

I hope she never talks to you again. You are the one who has issues - posting about a chick who is way too cool for you. American men are idiots. If you went to Europe lots of women know how to have fun way into their 30s, they just make sure to not talk to losers like you.

Please send me her number and Ill take her out to dinner and won't complain that she's not working like a man should.

Omg I hate you. Soon you'll get jealous of her dates and guy friends and tell her she shouldn't hangout with those guys because they are assholes...classic cuk with mommy issues.

Sounds like you've stopped enjoying your life and having fun, while she still is.

I'm not saying getting drunk is fun. I don't drink, and I think it's dumb. But you're judging her life based off of yours, and that's kinda whack.

Having studied this a lot one observation. Most people "grow up" or mature between 27 and 29. Those that don't tend to never grow up. The number of famous people who die at this age is quite telling. So I'm guessing if she doesn't change in the net year or two she probably never will. We have all met those people in their 30's 40's 50's etc that never seem to mature. Of course there are a large number of people who don't fit into this but most people do.

Still Waiting wrote:

Having studied this a lot one observation. Most people "grow up" or mature between 27 and 29. Those that don't tend to never grow up. The number of famous people who die at this age is quite telling. So I'm guessing if she doesn't change in the net year or two she probably never will. We have all met those people in their 30's 40's 50's etc that never seem to mature. Of course there are a large number of people who don't fit into this but most people do.

This guy is more of an idiot for thinking he has intellectual superiority to the original posting. You're "observations" and "famous" people as your reasoning is comical. I would expect this of myself in maybe the 3rd grade...

Please define "mature"? Maturity is relative to you value system and based off of assumptions likely inherited unconsciously through family and close friends. So you are just as likely of being the immature one in your 30s, 40,s 50s.

Personally I think anyone who criticizing other peoples lives to make themselves feel better (or for any reason) are the most immature of our species - myself included. This post is the most immature thing I've done all week. Anyone else have the balls (or neuroticism) or intelligence and self awareness I have to own up to your own posts these days. Jeez.

Everyone is dying and won't be here in 100 years. Nobody has a clue what is going on it totality and the best thing we have is math and physics to educate us lol (stupid system based off the concept that two things are equal and zero is essentially nothing - very dumb)- things based off assumptions from men obviously hiding their biases for such assumptions. You are all immature, and pontificating children in my eyes who are lost.

Anyone posting on this message board by definition loses any argument they are making (as far as maturity goes) also you don't even now (with any certainty) if you are talking to anyone at all. This place is hence just a mirror for yourself to self talk. At the very least, if "real" people are posting, we just get to see the pattern of peoples inner minds at work - filtered through language and technology and the mods...

I am also this. I'm here alone. Talking to myself in a room that echoes back. On the other side someone else does this too hoping to find some meaning or who knows. By random chance we find comments we think are directed to us but are not at all. Nonsensical conversation born from contingent events in nonlinear space and time. We are all alone, together...maybe. Once you move out of a system of logic's reference frame - all the concepts or laws of the system break down and are nonsensical. Especially some dude trying to critic someone else online. Theres nothing real going on - the dude just wanted to vent.

You're welcome for the lesson.

Pics?

A lot of people in their 20s/30s/40s party a lot but it really depends on their situation in life. If they have no kids and are rich, they can afford to party. The people who have kids or are committed to grinding at their job to save money or make ends meet really don't have time to party and are tied up by certain responsibilities they have created for themselves. Just looks at LA and Vegas, it's ripe with rich older people without kids who love to party because they can.

A lot of people are jealous of these older partiers because they are trapped and tied up by responsibilities. They wish they weren't broke with a lame job and tied up by a spouse and kids and it shows.

So you used to bang her but have also been attempting to fill the role of... a father figure for her? And now you're thinking of terminating your association with her entirely because she sucks at her job and likes to party more than you do?

I don't know what the right label is, but that doesn't sound like "friends" to me. Pretty weird stuff, frankly.

Responsibility isn't for everybody. Being a good friend sometime means being accepting of sub-optimal behavior. Just limit your time with her so you don't get frustrated. Besides, you are 33, do your thing.

If she asks for your opinion, give it straight. She's an adult. Is she happy? Is her behavior harming anyone else?

Kvothe wrote:

This girl likely either will a) never mature or b) will get pregnant and mature somewhat because she is forced to.

Yep. Party girls either grow up and find something to do or they get done and never have to do anything again.

everyoneisdoping wrote:

King Joe wrote:

Yeah, making $12/hr, living in squalor, having no retirement, and breaking your ankle while doing stupid crap while drunk and racking up medical bills you can't pay is really admirable and conducive to long term well-being. Brilliant assessment.

Why the hate on someone making minimum wage? So anyone working a min wage job is somehow disqualified from being a friend?

You sound very entitled.

This...+1000

The job market sucks right now in some cases. Now, if she's trying to improve herself but is unlucky to be stuck at $12/hr. ($25k a year), that's not good. It's different if she's lazy. Has she tried to ask for a promotion and at least want to improve in some way?

She may just be fine doing enough getting by right now.

Steve The Addict^^^^^^^------- wrote:

A lot of people in their 20s/30s/40s party a lot but it really depends on their situation in life. If they have no kids and are rich, they can afford to party. The people who have kids or are committed to grinding at their job to save money or make ends meet really don't have time to party and are tied up by certain responsibilities they have created for themselves. Just looks at LA and Vegas, it's ripe with rich older people without kids who love to party because they can.

A lot of people are jealous of these older partiers because they are trapped and tied up by responsibilities. They wish they weren't broke with a lame job and tied up by a spouse and kids and it shows.

Yep, that was my family in the '90s--just trying to get by in CLE even though the rest of the world benefited from the Roaring '90s and the great economy....that is incredibly true.